34 with out of control symptoms

Hi, I’m Jessica. I’m 34 years old, have ADHD combination type and also extremely severe iretractable chronic pain. Talk about taking clutter, organizational issues, guilt and feelings of failure up by a hundred fold.
I’m not saying that my pain is greater than anyone else’s pain, it’s just different.
I’m not sure why but my cognitive abilities, executive function and basically any use of my brain/thought has gotten severely more difficult over the last year. I don’t know if it’s just because ½ my brain is taken up with the ADHD portion and scatteredness and the other ¾ is taken up with pain… Hopefully you caught my math meaning because no it is not incorrect. I have been having extreme moods that I feel like I can’t control. It’s like it’s not th really me freaking out over something, it’s the me that’s in so much pain, has so much to do and so much going on in her head… I have been on Social security disability since 2008 and since that sure as heck does not pay the bills, I’ve also opened two separate businesses
… both with very little success in the financial department. Feeling stupid is definitely a feeling that’s with me too often and I try not to have a “shouldy” attitude. It’s just so hard and I feel kind of hopeless at the moment. I’ve gotten some great tips and info off Jessica’s YouTube videos. I feel great when I come off it but then it’s almost like I just sink right into a depression. Just to mention I also have a mood disorder that’s basically depressed state based off known physical conditions and I won’t even get into what all of those are. Feeling pretty alone and like I know there are things I need to do but can’t seem to make myself do it. This is especially true when I’m having a “good pain” day where I know I could get some physical stuff done. I’m extremely extroverted yet feel awkward a lot of times around people when I talk & need to practice a little more mindfulness because I’ve been finding myself also interrupting more lately. I just forget so quickly including walking into a room and forgetting why I walked into it…
I know that my medication works a little but not nearly as effective as it’s been in the past but I have been on it for an extremely long time.
Anyway I don’t know if maybe anybody here has any experience with severe, undertreated chronic pain and ADHD…

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Hello Jessica, are you getting treatment for your pain problems? I have some physical pain problems myself, I understand, to some degree, how much pain can drag your mental health down too. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum, I hope someone else will have some more useful advice for you.

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Have you ever tried acupuncture? It’s really good at helping with long term pain conditions.

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Welcome!

Unfortunately I can’t offer much help on the chronic pain issue. I know of different things that have been helpful for other people, but I don’t deal with chronic pain myself. In general I’d say that it’s important to be gentle with yourself, focus on activity pacing, maybe look into CBT and Mindfulness for chronic pain if you haven’t, and also to set goals for yourself that are small and also flexible. It can be easy to feel guilt at all the things that you can’t get done, or feel like a failure when you physically cannot complete them. It’s important to be kind to yourself and acknowledge all the things you’re doing to try.

Maybe by getting some help for the ADHD and mood issues it will lessen some of the pressure and burden on managing the chronic pain. If one or two things in your life start to improve, maybe it will be easier to cope with the pain that remains.

Whatever happens, you have a community of support here. I’m sure there are other brains who have been in similar situations, if not completely the same. I hope they reach out to you and that you can ask for help when needed.

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Welcome! (None of us is saying our own paint is worse or greater than anyone else’s, I don’t think. We’re on the same page with you, on that subject!) I hear what you’re saying, about the idea of your symptoms growing more difficult lately. I don’t know what the usual advice is on that subject – could be, that ADHD does this sometimes, in some presentations; or, could be, rather, that yours is a unique case; I simply don’t know. I really suggest sticking the question to some professionals. In any circumstance it can’t hurt to ask around! Best of luck. :slight_smile:

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