Hi fellow brains!
I’m a 34 y.o. woman living in Melbourne Australia, diagnosed with ADHD-PI in late Sept (just in time for ADHD Awareness Month. Great timing ) It was a terribly drawn-out process, made worse by the fact that I couldn’t seem to stay in any one place for more than a few months (I’ve been worrking online for 5+ years). By the time a psychologist pinned me down long enough to take a test, I was off again on another adventure. Two years later I managed to stay in town long enough to access government funding for a diagnosis, and viola. I’m currently coming off my meds for depression in an attempt to try ADHD ones, and treat the possible underlying issues that caused the depression and anxiety in the first place.
Getting diagnosed was such a relief! My God, what a burden has lifted. I always thought there was something wrong with me, and for as long as I’ve known I’ve had this terrible self-talk - in particular there was one line going through my brain ‘There’s something wrong with me.’ I felt like an alien growing up in my town (3000 kms from where I live now, thank God.). I just wasn’t interested in the same things other kids/teens my age were. I felt both older and younger than they were. Making friends was hard and I was bullied. I withdrew into my own private fantasy world full of books and films to deal with the feelings. I also have rejection sensitive dysphoria, so I needed my space to recover. Luckily I had a stable family unit, but they didn’t know what to do. The school blamed me. I often ended up in the sick room at school practicing my best fake cough, or hiding in an empty classroom somewhere to escape the shame of being the school pariah. I was terribly, terribly lonely. (I eventually dropped out and it took years to get back to my studies.)
Things got particularly bad once I hit puberty - all those hormones just seemed to make things worse. This is a common story, particularly for girls, from what I’ve heard. Now I know there’s nothing wrong with me - I’m neurodivergent. Even better, there’s lots of other people the same way! Hello brains!
I want to know if any of you ever had these kinds of thoughts going through your head, like a kind of self-bullying negative mantra, like I did?
Were you bullied? What did you do to cope?
How did you find your tribe?