I haven’t noticed a lot of topics geared toward the struggles of having a uterus and also a very forgetful mind, so ladies and pre-op boys, this one’s for you.
First I wanna start on PMS because god knows there is nothing worse than already having a non-working ACC, (as described in Jessica’s “ADHD and Anger,” which you should absolutely watch if you have not,) on top of a sudden influx of testosterone coupled with a reduction of estrogen.
We go nuts sometimes.
It’s okay. I do it too. The small things pile on and on until I’m a blundering mess of tears, unjustified desires to abandon those I love, horniness, anxiety sweats, and a whole slew of other messy, emotional issues. And yeah, rage. All of the rage.
Sadly, all we can do about this is just… know when its happening. It can take an intense sense of self awareness to know when PMS is taking control and an even bigger sense of awareness to actually stop it. Sometimes it’s downright impossible, and when it is it’s important to apologise for your behavior. You don’t have to change, and anyone suggesting you do has an enormous misunderstanding of the issue, but apologising sincerely is very important when you inadvertently lash out at your loved ones, as we all do sometimes.
I’m sure there are certain supplements that can help, but when ADHD is also holding the reins, our best bet is to just be hyper-vigilent regarding our reactions. Count to ten, take a deep breath, and if you still wanna start swinging, be ready for a follow up apology and mean it.
Moving on, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has trouble remembering to change menstrual products. Toxic shock syndrome apparently only effects those with a genetic predisposition, and as such I’ve never gotten it despite often leaving tampons in overnight, sometimes for up to 16 hours, before remembering “oh, sh*t, I need to change that.” But it’s better just to not find out if that’s you in the first place. I’ve tried menstrual cups, which turned out to be too much messy work, pads, which make me feel like I’m wearing a diaper, and lately, period underwear.
Period underwear is queen. It can be a bit of an investment, and if you’re struggling financially this may not be the advice for you. However, I bought mine in a 5 pack for $60 and have probably saved as much as I paid for them and then some on not having to buy menstrual products. Best part, you can leave em basically all day without having to worry, even if your flow is downright excessive like mine is. (With the menstrual cups, I was able to measure my flow to determine that I’m in roughly the 90th centile, meaning 90% of women bleed less than I do.) You’ll have to find the rights ones for yourself, but I bought mine on amazon.
I once worked a 16 hour shift at work in them on day 3. They earned my utmost respect that day and thereafter I cannot recomend a good pair or 7 enough. It is literally the perfect solution for my forgetfulness. I hand wash em in the sink and leave em to dry when I’m done, then wash them like a normal pair of underwear. (Let’s be real, we all wash our period undies by hand out of necessity anyway at least once or twice a cycle.)
Last topic I wanna tackle is birth control, and this is a tough one that really comes down to an individual. All I can give is my own experiences.
I took the pill for six years, and forgot to take it just about every other night. Not good. Not good at all. I had the problem of basically every pill being too high in estrogen and it made my pms even worse. Like, I was downright scary.
Some forgetful brains might thrive on an arm implant, but if you are sensitive to that estrogen like I am, arm implants can be a huge hormonal issue. Taking the pill hardly works if you can’t take it on time every day, so if you’re forgetful what’s the point?
My savior was an IUD. A paraguard copper IUD to be precise. I have exactly zero children and was heavily discouraged from getting one as such. It hurt like heck to have put in, and the next few periods were agony, but after about 4 or 5 months my angry uterus calmed down and I have a semi-permanent form of birth control that will last the next 12 years if I want it to.
I can’t recommend it for everyone of course. It’s a decision you should probably come to with your doctor, but at the time I got it I had no medical insurance and received it through planned parenthood for a whopping $400. If you’re tight on finances again, this might not be for you if your only option is to pay out of pocket, but it is by far the easiest birth control for my adhd brain to handle. If this sounds like a good option to you, there’s three things: Reasearch, research, and research. Always advocate for yourself.
I’m hoping to turn this into a big thread for anyone with advice on having both a uterus and adhd, and I hope my own advice can help some people. Sorry it’s so long winded. There are many other things I can and want to talk about too regarding the subject. Drop a comment if you feel inclined and thank you for reading:)