ADHD emotional regulation social situations

I’m struggling with a thing again. Worshipping the ground someone walks on. I think it can be easier to put someone on a pedestal because of respect you already have and you never get to interact with them much, so it keeps building and building. Has anyone else dealt with this?
I wonder if not interacting with them very much perpetuates it because interacting with them helps me remember who they are as a person.And what they deal with

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Yes, been there.

I actually enjoy that “completely smitten by someone who doesn’t know I exist” feeling. Up until the point where it becomes really frustrating and depressing.

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Been there. Done that. Too much.
Never ends well.

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On the other side of the coin, I haven’t been smitten in ages. These days I tend to settle for “two legs and a heartbeat”. Didn’t bode well for my ex-marriage.

It would be nice to be in love again, even if it’s entirely one sided. Still hoping for that “two way smitten” thing.

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It’s not a romantic thing. It’s just a role model lots of respect thing. With ADHD I feel so intensely. It’s hard when you don’t have the same relationship you once did anymore. I was asking my psychiatrist about me having difficulty with eye contact. She said it can be ADHD. Also it can be shame related. I think it has to do with feelings of inadequacy.

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Yes, absolutely!!! I have a friend that I really admire ( it’s not like I want to be them, it’s just that they’re dedicated to what’s important) but I feel weird talking about it in case I give the wrong impression. It’s definitely better when I can actually see them though. my Brain stops filling in the gaps so I can see their faults for once.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Feelings of inadequacy can play a HUGE role here, and often I’ve found that dealing with those feelings on your own without needing that permission from said pedestal person is the answer. I believe that ultimately the end goal is for us to see ourselves as that person (within reasonable bounds)

Things that I’m doing to deal with this exact same thing include taking myself on ‘dates’, paying attention to my own self talk and actively looking for things to admire in myself each day, things based on MY own standards of what is exceptional for me to achieve.

Sending you lots of confidence and great vibes for yourself!

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