Hey everyone. I’ll try not to make this long, but we’ll see what happens.
I am a junior in college and not sure if I am going to make it.
My diagnoses are: ADHD, depression, anxiety, Irlen-Syndrome (simular to dyslexia), and… misophonia.
Misophonia means “hatred of sound”, haha. When someone with misophonia hears a trigger sound, it causes a physical reflex which triggers the amygdala to light up and triggers the “fight or flight” effect. Your body literally thinks you are in some kind of danger and the emotions a person feels upon hearing their trigger sounds are unbearable almost. Mostly it’s rage and anger, but for me it is severe anxiety and panic attacks.
The most common triggers are sounds of people chewing food such as gum, crunching chips, or slurping soup or pasta. My trigger list is a long one. To name a few: Pen clicking, repeated sniffling, any kind of food noises (gum is the worst thing on this entire planet and I get upset thinking about it), computer typing, nail biting, really any kind of repetitive, soft noise.
These noises are everywhere in the world. My triggers have multiplied and my anxiety around them has gotten more and more severe over the years. Lately, I can no longer sit through my classes, church services, any kind of event, or party where there may potentially be finger food (like chips that people crunch), etc. The only safe place for me is my apartment. Any time I leave my apartment I become overwhelmed and anxious because there are trigger sounds everywhere and I’m bound to have a panic attack if I don’t get somewhere safe.
These diagnoses are working together in my brain to ruin my whole life. I have no more social life, things with my boyfriend of three years are strained because if he so much as breathes wrong in my ear I am triggered. I am going to fail at school because I can’t even go to class and my ADHD makes doing homework and keeping up outside of class nearly impossible (I miss deadlines, forget about assignments, can’t focus on them anyways when I do remember). The depression is very prevalent and I can barely get dressed every day.
My doctor and I are working to find an ADHD medication that works (I’ve been unmedicated my whole life), but he doesn’t know how to fix the misophonia.
Does anyone else have experience with misophonia? Anyone found anything that helps? Or any other words of encouragement?