It feels scary, yet relieving to have an answer to your long life frustrations. I have achieved enough to make my parents and friends proud, and even me sometimes, but I am a passionate person, with a sharp community sense, that gives my life purpose and have made me want to prepare myself further and better on a Country where I found myself mostly alone.
I was feeling depressed and overwhelm by all the efforts put into this life project to see it fall down to nothing, or less than nothing. So after a pretty low point I decided I might have depression and needed treatment. Turns out, my results were ADHD.
So my questions were:
1)How could nobody see this before? It was so obvious. I have been trying all sorts of therapy for years, because on top of how hard life can get, and we need to learn how to deal with our emotions; EVERYTHING WAS SO HARD. Yet, I did everything, just on the edges.
Am I even a real person? All the “good things” about me, are now just the good symptoms of ADHD. I guess It feels heavy to feel that your own person is just a result of some sickness.
Is this even Real? Or my mind is just getting comfortable with having ANY answer.
I am 27 years old. I am not only, new to the community, but to ever thinking there was a bigger thing with and invisible hand holding me back. I started medication two days ago, and I think I can feel a bit difference, but I am still distracted. My feeling on the highest peaks, is just: It’s fun to do this, I can.
However, I don’t know what I am asking for here. But just wanted to let you know there is me here, with this thoughts, and maybe someone would like to say to me and my short story, or have actually something to say about this. I am unsure, I am scared, but might be relieving to put a shape and face to my monsters.