Authority issues?

I just remembered that I heard about that Brains can have authority issues, I googled and found this article: https://www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-adults/

I feel like I used to have this, I am much calmer and not as angry as I used to be though, which is really nice. But as my psychiatrist once said:“You’re less angry at the world, which is good!” and I replied:“No I’m not. I just don’t show it anymore”

I have hated this made-up society all my life, I think. However, I was never a troublesome kid and I have never been in real trouble because of this, but the trouble has showed when I have to find a job. Like, I have NO work morals. Money has never motivated me and I’ve fucked up jobs by being late and not really caring about it.
Now I’m a bit scared because eventhough I am a calm person and such now, I have trouble with jobs. I’m gonna start a new “work rehab” to try to find a suitable job for me now the 1st august, but how do I explain like:“yeah well, I don’t really have a work moral and nothing really motivates me…” xD
People always think I’m cocky or ‘acting like I’m better than others’ when I try to explain this, and it’s really not who I am! I just have so much trouble finding my place in a society I detest, in a world I really don’t like!
I’m so relieved to have dark and sarcastic humor, I don’t know how I could’ve gotten this far otherwise…

Does anyone relate? Does anyone understand? I feel like this is a hard thing to explain and I have actually never talked about this other than with my psychiatrist, so I don’t know if it really is ‘just me’?

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Huh, this kinda sounds similar to ODD ( oppositional defiance disorder ) but not exactly the same. Since it’s a common comorbidity it might be with looking into?

EDIT: just in case I came off wrong, I was in no way implying you ODD. Just thought it might be something you would find interesting to look into!

I think I can relate to much of it. I always were a wild child. But very reponsible and conscientous, so I did not get into too much trouble. Always an outsider I cannot stand people in general, but have great compassion for individuals, at least when they don’t annoy me, which is most of the time. My solution to work is that I have to work to keep myself and most important my loved ones alive. I go for leader positions, or work for a boss I can respect, or quit. when I could not stand working “for the system” anymore, I started my own business. Now I am counting the years I have to work until retirement. I am disillusioned and pissed off, but have to accept that I have to work. Sometimes it is Ok. The best is that I am accountable only to myself. If no such solution is possible, try to find a work place where you like some co-workers and get along ok with your boss. and stick to it as long as possible. Good luck!

I never cared for rules and if it was helpful id breakthem but otherwise id usually follow them if i could because it worked but i got upset easily which usually ended up in me breaking rules. I dont reakly care for rules unless they make sense and are for safety and it makes sense how they are for safety. but if they get in my way or prevent me from helping someone then f them.

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I can completely relate to what you’re saying. I don’t get this society thing and I don’t see any difference between the head of the company and any other person there either.

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Same if a boss comes up to me I treat them as any other person

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Yea if the rules are for safety reasons then they are justified. It makes me so mad when people don’t use their signal and just turn wherever they please.

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yeah. like USE YOUR SIGNAL IT’S THERE FOR A REASON

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DidrikM
ConfusedbutADHDandLD
MBalog
A_Arctic_fox
(replying to all of you :wink: )

YES! omg, I’m so relieved to read all your replies! And yeah, I did read about ODD, but it doesn’t really fit all the way and I wasn’t a wild child ever, I think this came when I moved away from home and really had to ‘become the society’.

I have thought A LOT about starting my own business, BUT, I have the worst self-esteem… if I fail one time, I just give up and feel super-shitty. My poor self-esteem has stopped me from a lot of things in life :-/ (Thanks, school! :expressionless:)

I have a very strong ‘emotional moral compass’ or what to call it: I can’t support a system I think is wrong… my ideal place to work would probably be working against the society/system haha xD
I just have so much trouble “doing what needs to be done, so I can do what HAS to be done later”.

I have gotten a boss fired for treating me bad. And I got up in a teachers face for being stupid. Those were the only times I really stood up against an authority like that and didn’t give up until they admited defeat or got fired (in the case of the boss at least. He talked shit about me behind my back and was just an absolute asshole bully, so I took it to his bosses)

I just don’t know how the hell to ‘comply and get in line and do what needs to be done, according to others/society’…so yeah… I just feel so fed up and lost all the time!

Thanks for reading and taking your time to reply!

Oh and about hating people: I honestly wish I could do like Fox Mulder from the X-Files and just sit in a basement away from people and do my own thing haha

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It sounds like this is probably the thing that motivates you, and you’re definitely not the only one who considers this the most important thing in work. If you flip the construction of the sentence eg “it’s really important to me to find my work meaningful” I think the people you talk to are likely to understand

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My comorbidity thing is OCPD, basically perfectionism to extremes. I also question authority based on status as I find it meaningless. So I was always in trouble at school and expect employers to stick to their own rules etc. And to break them when it makes sense!

I do have a job though. My safety net was to work several part time jobs, partly because of my adhd but also partly because of this.

Bit hard to explain this today, just wanted to say you’re not alone in finding a lot of society to be BS. I mean, I am glad we have schools and education and hospitals and taxes, but why are some things so screwed up?

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Thank you, I haven’t looked at it that way! I will definitely tell them that when I have the meeting. Thing is, when I’ve tried to tell authorities like the Unemployment Office about this, I guess I’ve never really put it right and they’ve actually laughed at me… Luckily, this coming meeting isn’t with them!
I remember so well, one time, an unemployment officer asked me what I wanted to work with and I said “I want to work within theater” (because that’s where I have most of my working-experiences) and she straight up scoffed and smirked at me and said:“Okay, well, for REAL” … :unamused: like, bitch don’t ask me what I want if you have already made up your mind in what you think people can and can’t work at?!

Ugh, I’ve been thinking about my future a lot today and thus, I’ve been sad all day… I really, really hope this meeting next thursday won’t be like most of my other meetings I’ve had about this…

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I am curious as to what your business your involved with. I Have very similar opinion and actions towards work.

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  1. both Mulder and X-files are the absolute best!!!
  2. I know right??? I’m totally jealous :sob:

And unfortunately society can have some messed up morals. I think it’s just about finding the balance between what you believe and how you act as a result of that. I’m not sure how to phrase it exactly, but basically being aware of how others would react without giving in.

I work as a psychologist, strange as it may sound.

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I generally see authority as peers. The ceo of my company or the police officer just people who wake up put a sock on each foot and go to work.

I was going to tell you the story about the time I got my boss fired, but looks like you’ve already heard this one. :wink:

As for the motivation bit. My turning point was when I realized my resume was full of short term jobs and future employers wouldn’t be interested in that. I got it fixed in my head I needed a job that lasted more than a year before I got bored (or knew better then my boss) and quit. Achieving this ‘goal’ was the beginning of a new way of living.

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DidrikM - Oh cool! I have often wondered if psychologists ‘can’ have any ‘mental problems’/diagnoses! (like, if they’re allowed to in their line of work)

ConfusedbutADHDandLD - Your profile pick is so good! ;D

Goldwing - Right now I’m unemployed and trying to find out where the hell I would fit in (job-wise). I have worked within theater (backstage and hostess (?)) , administration, shop-assistant, cashier…

By the way, can someone tell me how to ‘link’ to another person in a reply? I don’t mean quoting, but getting their name ‘tagged/linked’ in a reply? I think I’ve seen people do that…

If you type @ and start typing their name you will get a list of matching user names

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Theater sounds like a really great industry but it also sounds like a somewhat small target area. I think that if you can break down what traits you like about that field you can brainstorm a range of jobs with similar traits and give yourself a bigger pool of possible satisfying jobs.

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@Tenshi thanks!!! I drew it as a joke but now I actually reallly like it :laughing:

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