I just remembered that I heard about that Brains can have authority issues, I googled and found this article: https://www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-adults/
I feel like I used to have this, I am much calmer and not as angry as I used to be though, which is really nice. But as my psychiatrist once said:“You’re less angry at the world, which is good!” and I replied:“No I’m not. I just don’t show it anymore”
I have hated this made-up society all my life, I think. However, I was never a troublesome kid and I have never been in real trouble because of this, but the trouble has showed when I have to find a job. Like, I have NO work morals. Money has never motivated me and I’ve fucked up jobs by being late and not really caring about it.
Now I’m a bit scared because eventhough I am a calm person and such now, I have trouble with jobs. I’m gonna start a new “work rehab” to try to find a suitable job for me now the 1st august, but how do I explain like:“yeah well, I don’t really have a work moral and nothing really motivates me…” xD
People always think I’m cocky or ‘acting like I’m better than others’ when I try to explain this, and it’s really not who I am! I just have so much trouble finding my place in a society I detest, in a world I really don’t like!
I’m so relieved to have dark and sarcastic humor, I don’t know how I could’ve gotten this far otherwise…
Does anyone relate? Does anyone understand? I feel like this is a hard thing to explain and I have actually never talked about this other than with my psychiatrist, so I don’t know if it really is ‘just me’?