Bullying in secondary school

At secondary school I experienced bullying from the teachers and pupils.

I rarely lashed out.

Occasionally, I would lash out in the last few years.

I would store the anger, take it out at home or the neighbours.

I have anxiety since primary school.

I had social anxiety disorder.

I have had low self esteem.

When I received my diagnosis of ADHD, I was told I had severe anxiety, depression, mood disorder.

If a person does not get angry, is there a possibility of developing quite severe anxiety.

Any thoughts ?

1 Like

I do not know the answer to that question. However, on the other hand . . .I can see that if somebody gets out-of-control angry . . . they might become anxious!

:sunglasses:

1 Like

In my opinion when negative emotions are supressed and not dealt with, they will often manifest as anxiety, sometimes not presenting until many years after the event that caused the initial negative emotions, that is why it can be so hard to pinpoint where the anxiety is coming from.

2 Likes

You have another thought on the matter . . . interesting . . . and WELCOME!

Thanks,
Barry

1 Like

While growing up I was not anxious much (unless I let my imagination run wild and make myself believe something horrible like my parents died just because they were 30 minutes late getting home!). In school I didn’t get bullied and got along well with everyone (mostly by being the class clown, being helpful to teachers and other kids, and sticking up for the ones who did get bullied).

Usually my anger was related to my impatience (or injustices). Though I was rarely angry at school. The happiest of times for me. It was (and still mostly is) the case that I can’t hide my feelings for too long. If I am angry you’d know! The harder journey has been to learn to deal with it in a non-destructive way (mostly for people around me).

Perhaps anxiety has to do with feeling powerless to change one’s circumstances? I wouldn’t really know but that is what I think.

I have heard that “depression is anger turned inward” – Supposedly Sigmund Freud said it. I don’t know if this connection between anger and depression is true or not but again it may be related to feeling powerless.

Over time we can learn to accept what one can’t change and fight for what we feel is worth changing and are capable of changing. Perhaps that starts with self-care and self-empowerment? And learning to not care what others think of us?

3 Likes

That sounds like it could very likely be true.

I’ve heard that “anger comes from pain” (emotional hurt/pain). I don’t know if that’s the only source of anger, but I can see how the can be.

I was bullied a little. Primary school was good. Secondary school was where I experienced the bullying. I got very good at avoiding other people in Jr High and High School. (I often took longer, less-used ways to walk around school, and was very aware of the places the bullies liked to hang out. Most of my “bullies” were mostly the class clowns, who didn’t clown to entertain others when they weren’t in class…they entertained themselves by others’ misfortune.)

1 Like

Bullies entertain themselves at other people’s expense. That is not funny to me. I don’t find slapstick humor funny either.

Things have likely changed a lot now but at the time I was in school, the teachers put any bullying down real quick.

1 Like

The guys who bullied me and other quiet loner types would hang out in places where they were often unobserved by teachers and other adults at the school. In rare instances, I would witness one teacher or another who happened to be passing by intervene. The school had a lot of blind spots. (It’s also how drugs were sold at the school, I believe… But I never witnessed any drugs, and only a few students who appeared to be high.)

You might be on to something.

One side effect of bullying (at least in my experience) is that you’re being deprived of all the usual (i.e. healthy or at least normal) outlets of your frustration. You can’t ask people to stop because they won’t; pleading or getting angry or crying will only make them go harder on you. (I remember our teachers telling us to count to ten before hitting back, to cool our tempers. I tried that once. Gave them ten more seconds to hit me some more and made me look like an idiot while they did.) Basically the only way to get them to stop is to escalate the situation by turning to either authority (teachers) or violence. In both of which cases, they win. It’s like terrorism that way.

If you’re already having a hard time learning “normal”, this is sure to affect the way you interact with others. I can see how that might lead to anxieties.

1 Like

Injustices really mess me up, even when it’s not against myself. “Injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere” MK.

2 Likes