So, I’m going through a whole healing process. Last year at the end of the year I had a complete mental breakdown. I didn’t go to school for a while. Then I decided to work extremely hard to get through to the third year. I succeeded. However, my plan was to do that, then take a year off, and then start in the 3rd year. Or else I would have to do the second year over. I’m at college btw. I’m someone who studies well and I’m generally a straight A student. Even with a mental breakdown I got good grades working that hard. I had to do like 16 tests and 23 projects. I have one project left over which is the biggest one. Except for that, I finished them all succesfully. I’m proud of that. BUT. I knew I was not gonna be ready to go to the next schoolyear immediately. Hence why I wanted to take that year off. The thing is, even though I’m 18 (in my country that means you’re an adult), my parents REFUSED to let me have a year off. My therapist agreed with me. I for once in my life wanted to listen to my body. FOR ONCE. Something I NEVER do (bad habit. I know. Shhh). Then I proceed to listen to my body once, and exactly that’s when I get FORCED to not listen to my body and instead exhaust it. I barely had a summer break because I had to run internship during summer break due to the fact that I didn’t have enough hours (I couldn’t run 5 days a week. Bc of that I didn’t have enough hours). My therapist is very afraid that I’m not able to go to school fully. And I agree. But yet I have to run full schooldays. LONG schooldays. I have schooldays from 8.30 in the morning till 5.00 in the afternoon. No lessons off. Only 3 small breaks. I have 2 days a week off now. But then I have to work on my homework bc after a schoolday like that I can’t do a thing anymore. Then here is the thing that worries me: I can’t get anything done.
This is besides the fact that I have ADHD. The fact that I have ADHD just makes it worse. I can’t get a single thing done. If we have to work at school, I can’t work. I can’t do it. I try to focus. I try to work on things. An hour later I’m still at the very same spot. Maybe I made 2 lines of progress. Even without getting distracted or doing something else in that whole hour. I can’t get it done. I know that that’s because of my exhausted mind and body. But it worries me. It’s gonna give me a bunch of trouble. And I don’t mind doing this year over. But I need a friggin break and I’m not allowed to get one. I’m someone who’s really good at hiding how tired I actually am. So no one knows exactly how tired I am. My parents tell me all the time: Show some perceverance kid. You can pull through. Well yeah, the problem is: I’ve been doing that and more for the past YEAR. There’s a point where my body can’t anymore. And I’m really dang close to that point. It’s only a matter of time before a second mental breakdown comes out. I know it. It won’t last long.
Do you guys have any tips? I’m a foster child and my parents have threatened me that, if I don’t continue school, I have to move out of the house. Then they won’t be my foster parents anymore. So, I’m scared to pull through and tell them that I need a break. I feel like I just should let that next mental breakdown come and tell them: See this is why I wanted a year off. I NEED it. I knew it darn well. I knew it all. I can feel that. Maybe then they’ll listen. My therapist completely agrees with me. But my parents won’t even listen to her. So yeah, idk what to do. What would you guys do? Plz help me?