Howdy and Good Evening,
I’m to a point in my life where either my communication with people I care about can be the death of our friendship, brotherhood, or ( and currently) a relationship is with a lady of interest. I feel that no matter what I do when I am more of myself, I shoot myself in the foot and lose great people in my life and give the wrong thoughts of myself to them when I never intentionally did that or cause harm in the first place.
I state this as I’m tired of myself creating the same rat race, trying new ways, being “ brave to me myself” and it comes around that I hurt someone’s feelings, and trying my best to not let those weigh onto me, or fully embodying it to take the extreme ownership because its not their fault and i have to own what i do.
—> My biggest puzzle is keeping up or on a conversation. Most folks see that the conversation is general and all leads to a simple deal. In my brain ( and literally pulling on my chest / soul that it feel like), how do y’all keep up or create health ways to provide input when asked to or needing them to stop before I forget and then become that “ there is no need to address that / your not listening “ dude.
Expressing different view takes that i can see on any topic I am engaged with (even when i state that “x viewpoint” is what I see but NOT what I would choose might be a great tool or the worse tool that breaks the broken ordeal of that moment to pieces and myself ( because I am using it).
—> What do y”all say or do to make sure that a viewpoint that y’all may state is not a personally sided view but “ one of many I can see”.
( of course I state what I said above but that hardly works)
Common sense is one that I have the hardest time with.
Example: It is not common sense to open the door for someone closely behind you or for a lady who is walking in or out. I see that as a “ being a good human” trait. I’ll do it anytime I see it ( or I am not off in lala land) but other people I see will not do this.
The challenge is the people I engage with will say and deem it the other way around till I feel I am in the wrong.
—> How do y’all find a baseline of common sense in … well… life. ( lol)
-( Side note: I understand that its not their fault that I put my feeling of being wronged onto them. It’s only better help where i am going with this post. )-
So with what is stated above and the questions, I’m also looking for some kind of low cost therapist or talk group that helps in this area ( so hi here i am ) to get myself and others around me a break before I in-directly break everything.
Yes i am on meds currently.
Thanks for your time of hearing me out. I will be back on here as much as i can with work matter that I haven’t started.