Completely rudderless

I hate the mental health service dilemma as well. Their are definitely people who have worse problems than me who simply can’t afford to get help and It’s preposterous. I’m doing tremendously better due to all of the support I’ve received on this forum.

I agree with your math professor and think I should just accept the fact that I’ll always doubt myself, because I don’t see this going away even with success and titles. Looking back on my previous posts I’ve noticed that I do sound more infatuated with computers. Thanks for the observation! I’m going to take some CS classes next semester. :slight_smile:

Thanks for all of your much-needed help.


woohoo!!! i am so excited for you!

your interest in literature can certainly be something you carry forward too. i had a classmate who used network analysis methods to investigate links between different authors for example.

or, you know, you can just appreciate literature off the clock.


Well, no apology needed. We all understand the importance of doing your homework, and encourage you to keep up with the good work!

It’s valuable to recognize this tendency for self-doubt. It’s a feeling, and feelings are important. Just as physical pain or discomfort makes you aware of a problem, negative feelings do, too.

But we don’t have to let the self-doubt define us.

  • It may be just a self-check, a “can I really do this” moment. This is the instinct that’s supposed to keep us from jumping off a cliff. (At least, not without a parachute if you’re a base jumper, or a hang glider, or a deep pool of water to plunge into if you’re a stunt double in an action movie.)
  • The doubt might indicate a growth area. “Am I ready for this?” Or maybe, “Is it time to take off the training wheels?” Or even, “I want to learn to do this!”
  • It may show you the need to work with other people, maybe because of access, or specialty, or the fact that some things aren’t a one-person job. (I started reading the doctoral dissertation of a man whose work I admire, and right at the beginning he lists about a dozen people in his acknowledgements, some notably for helping him start, one in particular for editing his draft, his advisor and others for their help throughout, and also his wife for her years of patience, understanding and encouragement.) - - “No man is an island.” -John Donne; “…‘It is not good for man to be alone’…” Genesis 2:18
  • It may just be to help keep you humble. Humility is an admirable trait in itself. (“I remember when I wasn’t able to do this, and I don’t take it for granted that I do have the ability now.”)

Thank you so much!

I find the use of network analysis methods for investigating authors–hat your friend used–very interesting! I agree with you can just appreciate literature off the clock, I can still delve into literature on my own time and enjoy it even if I don’t pursue a degree in it.

I just contacted a CS instructor at my college inquiring about a web design course, so I’m just waiting for her reply. Hopefully I can take the course during the summer. I’ve been doing a vast amount of research about the career outlook, qualifications a competitive web designer has, etc., and I’m just utterly infatuated with it.

Thanks for your support!


It goes without saying at this point, that your replies are incredibly in-depth, profound, and encouraging.

You sir, are a rudder in the desolate, harsh seas of the unknown, and your insight is immensely helpful and reinforcing per usual. Each bullet eloquently provides an example that leads to a change in attitude.

I have been researching web design careers and what makes a competitive, well rounded designer non-stop for the past month. I am officially addicted to and encapsulated in web design. Through research I have read that learning basic, front-end programming language to compliment your skills in web design, make you extremely competitive and allow you to be a more efficient designer (something you already know). This makes perfect sense to me–who wouldn’t want to understand the structure of the website they are designing and how it works?! Then again, that might just be my ADHD and the curiosity that comes with it.

I have been studying the elements of HTML on my own, as well as watching YouTube videos on how to properly structure it, and it’s very addictive. I really, really enjoy it.

I have also contacted the CS instructor at my college inquiring about the web design course that is offered, so hopefully I will get a reply soon and be able to enroll in that course in the next semester!

I am currently researching for the best well-rounded, somewhat affordable laptop ($700-$800), that has the ability to effectively connect to 1-2 external monitors–any advice?

Thank you for the reply, per usual!


@Ben24 I agree wholeheartedly with your sense of @j_d_aengus. He is a rare find . . .
Your comments are as poetic as they are true. Do you enjoy writing?



Thank you @Ben24 and @Brooklyn
I am both honored and humbled by your praise.

It’s my joy in life to help others where and when I’m able to do so. If the lessons I’ve learned can help, I’m happy to pass then along.




No need to apologise, I log on to this forum very sporadically.
I’m glad you are feeling better about the situation and more confident in your abilities :grin:.
I’m currently working on getting experience and then I hope to apply to do a PhD in clinical psychology or counselling psychology. That is quite far down the line but still daunting. I would like to practice psychotherapy but I need to look into different types to find out what I’m best suited to.

What are you planning to study at university?


Those are great goals. I find psychology to be a very interesting and expansive subject–there is always research to be done!

Through some previous research, I have come to learn that mental health professionals are starting to become more in-demand, due to COVID-19 lock-downs, and the newer generations being more comfortable with expressing their feelings/concerns and seeking help from mental health professionals. We are slowly becoming more adept to the idea that seeking help ins’t shameful, so I think you will certainly get your PhD, and have a promising career! Keep me updated please!

I’m currently in the process of deciding which university or technical school I want to transfer to. The community college, which I am currently enrolled in offers an A.A.S. in Computer Information Systems, so I’ve been looking into that. But, I’m primarily interested in web design and the A.A.S. in CIS only offers one course in that, so I’m unsure about what I want to do in regards to transferring to a university. I have found a technical school that’s close to me, and they offer an A.A.S. in Web Design and Development, which I am profoundly interested in. I also wan’t to learn programming language to compliment my career in web design, and this technical school offers certs for programming as well. So, I’m not sure at the moment, but I’ll keep you updated.

Also, the bravado and confidence I have obtained is a direct result of this forum and all of the individuals who have replied to me. Thank you doesn’t do it. Have a good–nay, GREAT weekend! :smiley:


Hello everybody,

I just wanted to give a report/update as to how college is going, in case anyone was inquiring. I have two weeks left in my semester, and I’m averaging a 4.0 GPA in all of my classes: College Algebra, Developing Algebra Skills II, Composition I, and Music Appreciation. These last couple weeks have been rough–primarily due to a loss of interest in my current classes, so I am going to transfer to a university in the fall, where I intend on earning my undergrad–B.A. in Computer Science. The only prerequisite for this program is College Algebra, so–being that my average is well above what I thought I was capable of–I have been graciously gifted with a healthy splash of self-confidence. My grades are slowly going down because the classes are shockingly mundane, so It’s a struggle keeping my grades at a 4.0, and this is the main reason as to why I’m transferring in the fall. I know if I don’t start doing something I’m truly interested in, my grades will be subpar.

The main reason I’m here is to ask you all some important and serious questions. If your approval is given, your answers will all be included in what will be my final essay for my Composition I class. This essay is based around the educational system, and how it fails students with ADHD in primary and secondary school, as well as college. I will be addressing the issues we face whilst attending schools that are meant for neurotypical individuals, and not the ingenious, creative minds we all have, but can’t seem to show. My questions I have for you all are below:

*Should teachers let children with ADHD study things they are infatuated with, instead of forcing them to pursue mundane education in school?

*Do you think if we did the above, it would result in less ADHD students dropping out of school? Do you think less individuals with ADHD would end up incarcerated if teacher began to do this?

*Do you think many students with ADHD are thought of as unintelligent or lazy because they are not able to study things they are truly passionate about in school?

*Are teachers to blame for the jaw-dropping rate at which students with ADHD are dropping out of school?

*Should there be a special school for students who are different, such as students with ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, etc?

*If you are a parent, what would you have liked to see teachers and the school faculty do that they didn’t? How did school affect your child’s mental health, confidence, etc?

*If you are a parent, please feel free to go off on a rant. This will be used in my essay–if you give me permission to do so–which is about writing a proposal to solve a problem, so don’t refrain from speaking your mind.

My essay is due tomorrow night, so any replies that are sent in will be noted, but I won’t be able to implement them into my essay. After the completion of this assignment, I will post it in this forum for everyone to read. Thank you in advance to all who chose to reply, long live this forum!!!

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So why is that not surprising?!

Get excited, motivated, and challenged . . . What better way to succeed for us :brain::brain::brain:!


Ah, yes–the irony! :sweat_smile:

Last night I had to write a three page essay over Beethoven in order for it to be turned in this morning. Nevertheless, I do my best work when I’m in a time crunch!

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Hi @Ben24,

first of all welcome! I’ve just had a technical glitch and the last 20 minutes of typing have been lost to the ether, so now in an effort to commend and support you’ll have to contend with dot/bullet points.

  1. WOW what a journey you’ve already undertaken in just this thread! Hats off to you, you’re an inspiration. All those that have supported you here are another testament to the community here. What you’ve done in the few months/weeks here you’ll be able to look back on as one of those times you picked yourself up, looked around chose a direction and got on with it, well done.

  2. the education system for the masses as we currently know it has only been around for 200 or so years so it is going to be a bit rough. I personally think the subject of "What’s your itch?" should be on the curriculum as my experience of the current system is, prove you can do the course work from ages 5-20ish and then we may let you identify and solve your own problems (as is the case in a PhD say) and a 3 year PhD might not be for you even if you’re as celebrated as this guy: Freeman Dyson, who is in this video admitting that he could only cope with a problem for a year before wanting to move on (PhDs are typically 3 years on the same problem!) Freeman Dyson - Why I don't like the PhD system (95/157) - YouTube.

  3. parenting: I have two boys, both show evidence of “forgetting their heads if they weren’t screwed on” (like their father) but ultimately the older one has identified medicine as hit itch and is in his first semester of that, while the second is in his final year of high school and on track to pursue his itch of engineering.

  4. web design: you might want to look at content management systems like WordPress and just general graphic design principles as well as the nuts and bolts stuff of HTML/CSS/Javascript etc. but in the right course you might find that all of that gets covered or is offered as electives.

  5. Keep Going as I said in a post recently I’ve come to the conclusion that: You don’t have to be normal to want to be good. You don’t have to be good at too many things to be your best.

Good luck and keep us posted,


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Oh, and if in your break you want to try your hand at something for a portfolio or some such I may have a customer for you (me) as I don’t have the time to DIY but I do want to get something up and running and have already payed for domain names and hosting etc.

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