Coping strategies Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria?

[Evangel]

Hi there!
Since getting diagnosed a couple of weeks back and diving into the knowledge base about ADHD, I’ve figured out that I really suffer a lot from Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I know that in the US RSD is sometimes treated with meds (though I don’t know which ones, personally) but I’m from the Netherlands and unsure if I have access to these (I have an appointment with my specialist about medication tomorrow).

What I’m mostly looking for right now is coping strategies, I haven’t been able to find any on the internet about how to cope with RSD, up until now I’ve been alternatively going with ignoring it until it goes away, telling myself off for getting upset, or getting overwhelmed by it and having mini breakdowns, which, I’ll admit, are not great strategies.

So, do any of you have strategies that you use yourself to manage RSD, or that you’ve been told by a therapist, found somewhere in a dark corner of the internet?

[HarleyKyn]

So, the thing about RSD is that despite it being coined by a Doctor is not an official clinical condition. As there is a lot of research and debate and studies that go into these things before they get added into the DSM or ICD. A lot of people, and some professionals, theorize (as right now most things about RSD are in the theory phase) that sensitivity to rejection is part of emotional dysregulation… which doesn’t make it any less an issue! Don’t get me wrong, I’m sensitive to it a lot, but I know it’s because I can’t regulate my emotions to handle it the way I should. One of our mods actually did a solid explanation about RSD in terms of what it takes for it to become an official medical condition:

Fear of rejection?

As @HarleyKyn has summoned me to explain the terminology a little, here we go. Concerning RSD as a term: Emotional dysregulation (which is the only official term we have atm to describe “RSD” symptoms, so we should stick to that for now if possible) plays a big part in our social understanding and relationships. It’s easy to abuse sensitive people. However the term RSD is in no way official, yet. There are reasons why criteria have to be met until something is adapted into the ICD/DSM. One …

THAT BEING SAID, no one disagrees that rejection sucks and coping with it is hard. We can hardly regulate our day to day emotions, having to regulate emotions after being rejected? Oh boy. It should be an olympic sport. Try to be less critical of yourself. A lot of times we already know that our reaction isn’t great, so telling yourself off only adds to the problem. Because then you’re focusing on self-bashing instead of trying to fix the problem. So first, I’d change your thinking on that front. If you find yourself self-bashing try to shift your thoughts away from it. It takes practice. And patience. Just remind yourself that you (and so many other ADHDers #NeverAlone) struggle to regulate emotions, and that isn’t your choice. You didn’t choose to struggle with emotional dysregulation. It’s something you were dealt and have to deal with. So there is no need to bash yourself for something you’d TOTALLY leave behind … if you could. Breakdowns, unfortunately, aren’t something you can really fight off with a change of thinking. Breakdowns happen. If you aren’t already, if you can afford it, therapy could be worth looking into.

Have you tried guided meditation? I like guided because it keeps me on point, it’s not just sitting there in silence where my brain just does it’s own thing no matter how hard I try to pull it back. With guided my brain hones in on the voice and is more likely to actually properly meditate when it’s been instructed and I know it’s not going to be super long. 3-5 minutes to start. After about a month I was able to do 10 minutes. Without even feeling like it was 10 minutes. So it’s definitely a habit and takes time but I always suggest it because it helps so many people so hopefully it can help you too

[PurpleTea]

I suffer a lot from it, usually at the worst times. It’s absolutely awful and I can only speak for myself, but I usually can tell right away when it happens and when it does I tend to either do two or three things after finding what caused it (and for me it’s usually something someone has said to me or for example, something someone… hasn’t said to me directly):

1 Not a good thing to do, but I find a friend who’s willing to hear me ramble about how much I hate people and want to die because those are usually my first thoughts straight away 2. I stim! For me, I really like lighting things on fire when it happens I don’t know why, but only this helps me in this specific situation 3. I block all contact with the source for a little while until I feel better; so if it’s someone, I’ll tell them hey I’m not feeling well I won’t be able to reach you for a while and then I make a run for it and don’t go anywhere near everything having to do with them if possible

Sometimes it takes me up to a week to feel better, and during those days, I really seek out things that make me very happy and can provide a good distraction (I’ll start a new show, I’ll start a painting, I’ll go out)

I know this might not help you, but my main advice would be to locate the source and avoid it and distract yourself?

I also don’t know how it feels for you so I can’t give you specific advice cause I do feel self-loathing but I also know that if I treat it quickly and do the steps I mentioned, that part will only happen on the spot or for around the next 24 hours and it’ll take care of itself