There are some days when i feel like some kind of an brain itch. Sounds become too loud and noisy, light is too bright and darkness is too dark, and even people i usually like start to feel tiresome.
I am in that state for third day in a row.
I made an obvious mistake which cost me ~$2k in short term. Which made all the rest negative factors much more tangible.
It is -20°C outside(-4°F), which severely limits my activities.
Heating fuel price just raised 10 percent.
I made a promise to my wife to expand our house this year, which i’m not sure i’ll keep now.
I still have enough logical capabilities to understand that there isn’t any real threat in a long term - at least not any new one that wasn’t there before - but it doesn’t stop my inner monkey from screeching and throwing turds around right now.
It looks like some ancient animal anxiety mechanism, like it is there to make me do something to make my chances of survival better.
I know i can’t do anything with all that stuff, and i know that eventually it all will end up by itself.
Why doesn’t logic stop it?
PS. I don’t have any doctor, or meds, or anything, because i live in kind of inner emigration, in a country headstuck in a long lost cold war, where men usually just get drunk and tough out everything - so i need to take care of myself by myself.
PPS. Looks like it just got easier while i was writing this. Not 100% gone, but like 40 to 50 of it.