Is it sad that in my head I think if I am diagnosed with ADD or ADHD that it will answer everything that has been happening, everything beside that I have been reading has been ticked except Hyperactivity I’m not a hyperactive person I use to be in primary school but I’m just looking forward to this appointment to see if it is a possibility but then I sit back and think well if I’m not then what if I’m just LAZY then bout myself and think if I go to this appointment will I just look like an idoit…
Hyperactivity isn’t a requirement to be ADHD,
ADHD without hyperactivity (or without significant hyperactivity) is ADHD-PI, the “Primarily Inattentive” subtype. Additionally, hyperactivity doesn’t have to manifest itself outwardly. It’s not uncommon for the way hyperactivity expresses itself to change as we age. So, we may not be uncontrollably squirming in our chair anymore, and able to sit through an hour long meeting without giving into the urge to run laps around the conference room, but our minds may still be going 150mph.
Getting an official diagnosis is a big step that can help answer questions and more importantly mark the start of a longer journey of finding treatments and strategies to help effectively cope with our ADHD symptoms.
Never let yourself feel “like an idiot” for seeking help, quite the opposite in fact, it’s the smart and brave thing to be able to recognize when we need assistance and be able to ask for it. Believe me, it took way longer than it should have to work myself up to seeking help when I was really struggling, and I’ve paid the price. When I was rediagnosed as an adult, I was nervous about it as well even though I was originally diagnosed as a child. My mind was filled with thoughts and fears about the possibility of the doctor coming back and saying I wasn’t actually ADHD, that I was wrong and was just “lazy” or what have you instead.
Of course those fears were unfounded, and I’m still ADHD, but now I’m in a better position to get the assistance I need to cope as an adult.
I used to think like you. That I was lazy and stupid. But then, one day, at the ripe age of forty-something, I took an online assessment test (which are NOT a diagnosis, but an indication) that told me I very likely have ADHD. I’m not physically hyperactive either. Which is why it never occurred to me to get tested, even though I have always known I am “different” somehow…
The moment I realized that there’s a reason I procrastinate, forget things (everything!!!), have difficulties following a conversation because something the other person said triggered a thought that must be explored right now…wait, I need to start that sentence again… The moment I found out that it is the way my brain is wired that is the reason for all these things, a WONDERFUL thing happened: I stopped beating myself up.
Go! Get the help you need! Maybe it’s not ADHD. Maybe it’s something else. You can find some useful assessment tests and a LOT of useful info over at additudemag.com. But get yourself tested! Find someone to talk to. The more you learn about how your brain is wired, the easier it will be for you to learn how to work with your brain. I have also experienced so much more understanding from my family, friends, and close surroundings because I can explain why “just do it” doesn’t work for me the way it works for them.
Life is not perfect. I still procrastinate, forget things, and mess up, but I can tell you it is a heck of a lot more interesting now that I have tools to help me!
Best of luck to you!
@Toastytoes thank you I have done the online tests and watched heaps of youtube videos and found out that my extreme gum biting could me a symptom of this as well while watching how to brain and hannah hearts collaboration, I thought maybe it was more ADD to be tested for but in a way nail biting and gum biting is fidgeting on a daily basis I’m always doing it it’s been going on for 5 years and nail biting has been going on since primary school, my appointment has now been changed till the 14th of January so in the meantime I’ve been told to see a psychiatrist to help with symptoms I have to help manage them on my own because everything is suffering around me
@Toastytoes I went and saw a psychiatrist the other day although it wasnt my diagnosis appointment she stated I had symptoms of ADHD which helped because the last few day I’ve been opening up to family and telling them I was being tested and most turned and said I dont have adhd I’m not hyperactive and " bouncing from walls" I was so mad when I herd that because clearly they haven’t herd much about adhd and ended up having an argument about this with them ahaha but I had found out I was tested at the age of 6-7 and the dr said I would grow out of it, which now helps my think maybe this could in fact be Add/ Adhd
It’s amazing how much more we know about the brain now than we did only 10-20 years ago! “the dr said I would grow out of it” - people who “grow out of it” have most probably figured out how to organize their lives around the ADHD issues.
It sounds like your family needs some time to absorb your news. I have always been the family flake. The over emotional drama queen. The restless dreamer with my head in the clouds. In my case, I have learned that the more I try to push something on them that they consider being one more of my “bright ideas”, the more they will resist and wave me off. But when I have properly done my research, I can show them specific examples and can argue my case properly and (somewhat) calmly, they are more open to what I am saying.
Keep talking to your doctor!! Keep watching Jessica’s videos! Read articles that relate to your issues and also to your strengths (because you have a heck of a lot of them too, you know!!), learn them well enough so you can recite them, and then…then you can talk to them.
I know you are probably in desperate need for support from your family. It may take a while, but I believe that if you teach them on their terms, it will eventually become easier for you.
Best of luck!!