Diagonsed Recently

Intros
#1

Hey my name is Daniel, I live in Australia I am 33 years old and have been recently diagnosed with ADHD (inetentive).

Growing up I always felt different from the other kids, I didn’t have many friends, I couldn’t pay attention in class and I was always forgetful.

However recently this forgetfulness has started to become a problem. Well it always was a problem I would always just laugh it of as that’s just me a forgetful person.
The other day at work I had to set up the shop, I mean Im great at work, I can do everything there but might be a bit slow in a few areas and I tend to forget easily.

Anyways I set up the store as per usual except I forgot to fill up the ingredients and my boss got really mad that they weren’t filled up and it was really busy, he through me out of the shop but I came back cause he cooled down and I knew he couldn’t do it all on his own. I guess I am just beating myself up because I should remember these little things but I can’t and it’s effecting my work productivity. While we were arguing he was also asking me why I had forgotten to do and in the moment I was drawing a blank that I forgot to fill up the ingredients.

Thanks for reading,
Daniel

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#2

welcome, daniel.

#3

Welcome . . . :sunglasses:

1 Like
#4

Welcome to the HowToADHD forums, Daniel @cheeko1000 !

Forgetfulness is definitely something I have struggled with. I also have Inattentive ADHD. My memory is much, much better since I started on a good medication for me.

Besides that, there are strategies that might help. Years ago, I worked in retail management. The opening and closing procedures were written up as checklists. I used those printed checklists every time, because of I relied on my memory, I might easily forget to do 2 or 3 things on the list. (Also, some steps absolutely had to be done in a certain order.)

Now, I set reminder alarms on my cell phone for a lot of things.

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#5

Welcome Daniel !

You have got the diagnosis of ADD, which can be hard to get it ?

Can I ask, do you have any other neurodiverse conditions ?

What treatment are you getting ?

Forgetfulness maybe relayed to working memory issues which can be related to ADD/ADHD.

#6

to piggyback off jd’s comment: i really recommend “the checklist manifesto” by atul gawande. i know many people here aren’t big readers. if you are able to read either the print or the audio, though, it’s a really great book. i think he has also done some talks about it.

for me it really normalized the need to use checklists. i can sometimes get caught in a shame spiral with ADHD where i think, “everyone else can do this, i should be able to, too.” and then i try to carry on without my tools.

but the reality is that everyone needs these tools to a greater or lesser extent.

if pilots, surgical teams, project managers, and more need and use checklists, it’s not a failing that i use them too.

#7

But when the alarm sounds . . . For what does the bell toll?! :rofl:

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#8

Hey Aladdin,

No I don’t have any other condtions apart from mild autism. I haven’t got a diagnosis for it, my old suffered from it and only a year ago he told me I of got traits of autism.

I am just seeing a psychologist so far. I’m not taking any meds, I was taking meds for depression but I got off them maybe two years ago because how do I explain it; they made me feel a bit zombified and now that I’m off them I’m getting a bit more intuned with reality. I experience emotions at a much deeper level and it’s good reaquante myself with those feelings again. I don’t have anything against meds, I just don’t feel they are the right solution for me.

#9

Thanks for the welcome guys, will look into the checklist menifesto.

#10

Hi Daniel, welcome! Very relatable story! I’m also in australia.

Not reall Cool of your boss to lose it like that… everyone makes mistakes.

I feel now that I recently told my boss I’m ADHD especially have problems with emotion regulation, she is judging me and doing a ‘I told you she was broken” in her head… but she is completely unaware of her failings while I’m hyper aware of mine (and hers) so it’s a tense relationship.

I hope, like J.D. says that one day when I get on medication I’ll get better at some things, but for now I’m just saying “well this is me, I can’t change over night”

and actually I do pretty ok, I’ve been putting in systems over time that help me cope (like pack my bag and choose my clothes the night before) that make me seem pretty normal.

And my colleagues have been good about working with me on projects we find scary, and it’s actually helping all of us be more productive rather than giving ourselves homework we will never get to.

Also we learn from mistakes, I’m sure you won’t forget to set up the ingredients next time! But you’ll probably miss something else and that’s pretty normal. I think the big difference is that we don’t know why we did it wrong, where maybe normal people can see where they made a misstep or got distracted? Not sure really.

Welcome to the imperfect team!

#11

Thanks luxr,

I don’t blame him for getting mad, short temper but gets over it easily. I’m kind of used to it by now. I have been working with him for 9 years now

His used to my antics, they would always send me for ingredients for the store and it was a 50/50 flip if I would come back with what they asked for. One time I was asked to get cashews and came back with peanuts. Haha

I got a question if you have ADHD do you struggle with consistency? Like one day you work like a super star and then the other day not so much?
Cause the next day i was working with this girl while he was in the office and when he came out he kept questioning me why I couldn’t be like that on Sunday because he we made similar amounts of money.

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#12

Very much so. My ADHD traits are very well controlled on medication, but I still struggle with consistency. I don’t struggle nearly as much as I did before I started on medication.

Keep in mind that another factor is that humans are creatures of habit. I recently heard (not for the first time) a statistic that at least 80% of what people do in their waking hours is done out of habit.

Also, I’ve known people who definitely seemed very neurotypical who had problems with consistency. With many of those particular people that I knew, their problems with consistency had nothing to do with attention, but everything to do with intention. They were perfectly capable of following through consistently, they just didn’t care. Their hurdle was not ADHD, it was apathy.

If I had to choose between the most inconsistent ADHD Brain who genuinely cares, or the most consistent but apathetic neurotypical person, it’s no contest… I’ll take the Brain!

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#13

this is one of the most frustrating parts of ADHD for me. in undergrad, i got 48% and 96% on exams in the same class. (the 96% was on an exam that the rest of the class tanked, too, so i had one of the highest grades in a class of 300+ people.)

i’ve found ways to be much more consistent in school and work since then. i struggle in everything else.

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#14

I think we all relate. Mood regulation is my top issue and it rules my life, so does sleep, or the lack orf it, or the quality of it.

I, pouring my heart and soul into every day at work, but you know sometimes it’s like the world is against you.

I have had this recurring dream the last ten years of trying Roget up get ready for work/school and it’s like 10am, and I’m still not ready, then it’s 11am, and nothing is going right and at some point I just have to call it and say “sorry boss, not gonna make it in to work”

And my boss is going on at me about reliability, but my unreliability is down to things I cannot control. My health and the way my brain works. And I am one of the ,ost experienced and passionate people on her team,

so now I’m just like “you know what, I actually do do my best, and considering what I’ve been through it’s amazing I’m still standing so… tough, i, human, we are human we make mistakes. Good luck finding a robot that can do what I can do!” (I don’t actually say this to her I just remind myself when I’m talking to her rather than apologising I’m standing up for myself.)

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#15

Thanks for the stories guys. I have been looking back on my past and the more I look back on it the more it makes sense.

I remember back in school, I for the life of me could not focus on what the teacher was saying. Even if I told myself I would my brain would remember the first part of what they said and then just drift off somewhere. I would always be chewing on my pen and I sat weirdon the chair (which I still so today it’s more comfortable :stuck_out_tongue: )

I was getting upset because I was just bad at school and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t excell. I even remember going to my parents and tellinging them I can’t information but I think all they told me is you have to try harder.

All in all life is a learning experience. I have learnt throughout my years that I have a gift with writing and I learn better when I physically do activities rather then through a book.

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#16

Often medication for depression is not suitable for someone with ADHD.

Eg setraline .

#17

It depends on the type of depression that the person is experiencing.

If they have bipolar depression as a comorbidity, then certain treatments ought to help.

Situational depression would be treated in a different way.

I responded very well to an SSRI for anxiety, but I only needed it for a few months, not for a lifetime, like someone with bipolar depression might. (My ADHD medication is an SSNRI, and I respond very well to it.)

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#18

Hey guys,

I’m finding it frustrating to concentrate on tasks, like I lost an order at work today and the main boss was in today and he got really frustrated with me. I remember taking the order but I dont remember printing it out.
When I’m not stressed I can function normally at work heck I’m like a super star when I’m calm however when this boss comes it, I just withdraw into my shell and start making careless mistakes cause I’m nervous around him.

Do you guys have any tips for dealing with a situation like this.

1 Like
#19

Is the main boss just an intimidating person, or are you intimidated by the position he is in?

Was this a surprise visit, or expected?

I still deal with issues like this, but not as much as I used to. When I’ve had a good working relationship with the top boss, I get less flustered when they are around.

In the last two years, I’ve learned to use simple mindfulness exercises (such as “box breathing”) to calm down. Then, I remind myself that I know my job and how to do it well, picture myself doing the next step well, and then do it.

If I’m lost in a muddle of anxious thoughts, then I use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to help get me out of my head and back in the present moment. If I’m just tense, I use “progress relaxation”. If I need to get out of obsessive thinking (or automatic negative thinking), I use this 5-4-3-2-1 “grounding” technique:

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#20

Little bit of both I feel like he expects me to know certain things already and I do but I just get forgetful and confused.

He hardly ever comes to the store, I have worked with some top notch bosses and I am able to figure people out and what they expect of me but this one I am having trouble figuring out, I just want to please him but I feel no matter what I do he just feels irratated with me.

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