Being transparent with your ADHD is a double edged sword and you have to know this if you ever disclose your condition. However, I do not believe you’re being discriminated because of your ADHD.
One thing that’s incredibly hard to learn is that you cannot fall back on your ADHD as the reason of your failure. From what you described to me, you’re telling people the failure that you had is because of your condition. That doesn’t work, it shows weakness and it’s not an active mindset that you are accepting of your shortcomings. You have to remember that everyone has shortcomings.
It’s your attitude towards your shortcomings that people are going to see and how you approach fixing your own problems and selling yourself when those shortcomings happen. So what you explained here is that you can do the technical work for this scenario and that you executed it flawlessly. So it’s know that if you’re given a technical problem, you’re the best at it and that’s how you feel like you qualify for this new position.
Forgive me if I’m wrong because I’m going to make assumptions and tell a story that I believe will relate to your issues
Now, if I was a manager, and I heard that someone did a project/scenario and delivered on all the technical parts, fantastic, you aced the part that is visible on paper in feedback. However, if this role you want requires follow-up things like documentation, communication with others, didn’t prioritize a task that I actually needed, or other things that present or sell the idea, then you didn’t do those things because of your shortcomings (ADHD for you) and then you blame your failure because of the shortcoming… That’s actually completely 100% fine.
But what are you going to do about it?
If your answer is:
I need someone else to do those shortcomings for me
Then I see a lack of ownership of your condition and problems
If your answer is:
I didn’t do those follow up tasks and I will put in reminders for myself to get the structured feedback so it doesn’t happen next time.
It’s 100% ok to have your shortcomings, but you need to own it and to make it not an issue for someone above you. A manager, director or someone you report to is not responsible to make sure that you can do your job.
Think of this like a wheelchair ramp and you’re in a wheelchair.
It’s up to your manager/director responsibility to make sure you can have access to the wheelchair ramp and there is one there.
It’s not up to your manager/director to push you up the wheelchair ramp
You putting the ownership of your issues/problems on your superior’s set of responsibilities means more work for them. So they will take someone that is less technically gifted to do the job because they own their shortcomings, they can sell the work, they can present the work and be responsible and if they make a mistake, they will own it, have a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again and move forward.
ADHD is incredibly difficult to be accepting for others, especially in the workplace. We can get accommodations, we can get help through medication, we can make sure others can accept us.
It’s up to us to fix our own issues and problems. ADHD is not an excuse, it’s an explanation. We got to figure out our own tools and figure out other things that others don’t have to think about or they take for granted.
If I made any mistakes or assumed something wrong, please do let me know. I believe you that you are in that dark place, because of you having ADHD suppressed from work is something I think we all feel.
And I have been in your place, maybe not the same field, but I know that feeling that you knocked it out the park of the technical part, flawlessly delivery the scenario, and just stumbled on a part you had accommodations that helped you out, but because of someone else forgot to do that, you didn’t followthrough on the cleanup and didn’t own your shortcoming. Because of that, someone else got the role/job you had your eyes on and there isn’t anything to show you what you did was wrong.
We got you, work with us