Does anyone else ever get bogged down and struggle with self care and self improvement?

Hi Brains

I haven’t checked in in a long while but I’m really happy to be back because I’m having a bad day :slightly_frowning_face:

I started my current job around 9 months ago and overall I really like it here! I got my ADHD and dyspraxia diagnosis shortly before I started so this is the first time I’ve ever had any support in place. And I’m super grateful.

But sometimes its so exhausting trying to implement strategies, workplace support and self care. And having to keep having assessments and then reading reports about it etc. Has anyone else struggles with this? I think part of me felt a diagnosis was the magic answer! But so much work comes afterwards. I’m also very anxious in general at the moment because I’m also planning my wedding and we now have less than two months and so much left to sort out!

If anyone else struggles with this and has any tips or just wants to chat I’d be so happy to hear from you!



Will come back to this later. Specific wedding tips: you could look at some of the things I suggested to harleykin😀 And congratulations!

Random and doesn’t really answer your question-- I know that you will probably ready this and roll your eyes and move on because you don’t know me at all and it’s so cliche.
First, Congrats on your upcoming marriage! What an exciting time and so much change coming!
Second, please don’t let your wedding stress you out. Delegate what you have to and relax a bit. The world says we need perfect days with perfect hair, perfect pictures, entertainment for guests, but the reality it… a wedding is to get married to the person you plan on making a lot of vows to that day. It’s fun to have a beautifully decorated and well planned event but at the end of the day, you get to go home with a spouse, which is pretty big. Try, if you can, to save yourself the stress and don’t freak out about wedding stuff. Go with the flow and enjoy it. And wrap your head around the whole being connected to someone forever thing. On the drive home from our wedding the fact that I was going to have to change my last name hit me hard, like I was losing a part of myself. So, take it easy about the day, there are plenty of changes coming afterwards :).
And awesome that you have support at work! It’s always hard settling into a new position (it probably doesn’t feel new at 9 months, but it still is!) especially with new things that are supposed to help to get used to. I hope you can find time to self care and it becomes easier to manage :). I have faith you can do it!

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The absolutely most important decision is the one you already made: to get married to each other! The rest is detail :blush:

Thank you so much for the kind comments. You’re so right about focusing on the actual point of the day (getting married and comiting to each other) it can be easy to forget the point in all the planning madness though.

I’m also worried about the name change and haven’t committed to a decision on that yet! I’m hoping to put off worrying about it until after the wedding.

Thank you again, I really appreciate the responses. I know it’ll all come together, I’ve just been really susceptible to feeling overwhelmed recently! Xx

Hmm, you might want to check the legalities around name changes where you live. It may be a lot more effort to change your name after/before the wedding. In a lot of countries, the process is simplified only if it’s part of the marriage ceremony.

Speaking as someone who has changed her name twice (first to form a double-barrelled name by adding my then partner’s surname, then several years and a break-up later to revert to my maiden name), I found it such a hassle to change everything that when I finally got legally married (to someone else) it was an easy decision to make: neither of us changed our names, and it was not an issue. My wife has professional reasons for not ‘disappearing’ or becoming disassociated from all the hard work she has done under her maiden name and I just didn’t want to go there again.

Local culture, your profession, your own and your partner’s opinions and feelings on this are all important. If you’re ‘not sure’ it might mean you don’t really fancy the idea, and if this is not gong to upset your husband or make you a social outcast I would say don’t bother, to be honest. It is a real faff, you have to send documents, in some cases the actual originals, by post, to every single place you are registered. There are still a couple of organisations I need to sort out, nearly 20 years later. I have a deadline of when the investment policies mature, as I need them to pay out in the name that is on my bank account :sweat_smile: