Does anyone else have terrible indecisiveness?


#21

I just did both of those this week! Default choice picking a restaurant, decision last minute. Meal choices undecided (even though I’d been looking at the menu online days before going & again at the restaurant) till the waiter asked me what I wanted.


#23

Yes, that’s me nearly every day! I have a million things I’m excited to do but will spin undecided of where to start till I can’t take it any more & then numb myself out with social media or a nap just to make the spinning stop.

I do the same! If I’m not looking for a specific movie I know I want to see on Netfilx, then I will nearly always spend an hour or more browsing & then be over it & never watch a movie. And I don’t deal well with lots of sadness or any gore, so I’m always looking up the comments of advice for parents on things in the movie that might upset kids.


#24

Oh my gosh YES! In almost every instance. Where to go eat. What to eat. What to get at the grocery store. What to wear is a horrible time for me. It so frustrating when what should take just a couple minutes for any one else, takes forever for me.


#25

I totally suck at making decisions. My siblings tend to make decisions so fast and accurate like selecting between yes or no but for me it’s different. Anyway, for this reason my friends call me confused which I am not but just indecisive because I tend to complicate the opinions myself.


#26

OMG I’M SO INDECISIVE TOO! Deciding what to eat takes forever for me! I’m so bad that I sometimes forget to eat for an entire day just because I can’t figure out what I want to eat (and then I forget that I’m hungry) :joy::sweat_smile:


#27

Yes. The household chores or office projects. I would rather be told what to do and having to step out of my comfort zone as I was just promoted to a manager level at work.


#28

Yea I get indesisive, or I think I do, maybe I don’t, I’m not sure :joy:


#29

Yes smoke a ciggie, nicotine is the king for making choices


#30

I’m so glad I read this!!
(I’ve created an account just so I can reply!!)
I’m undiagnosed up to press but I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am that I’m a brain!

But!
The one trait that I don’t seem to have in spades in the impulsivity… because I am cripplingly indecisive!!
It drives my partner crazy!!
Food in a resturant or even down to what tv show to watch (sometimes just from a choice of 2!!)
:joy::joy: I hadn’t realised the coping strategy I was using of just ‘wait for the waiter to turn up’ … but it makes sense… it’s a deadline. :joy::joy:
It’s even worse with big purchases like a mobile phone or car…
I read tonnes of reviews, write pro and con lists… ask opinions, watch videos… even when I’m 99% sure I know what I want I still seem to put off making the final decision and pressing ‘order’ for ages!!!

I’m relieved it’s not just me and that it looks like it still is an ADHD trait, just not impulisivity! Lol

Thanks everyone!


#31

My parents had a restaurant but I am a complete philistine about food. I eat the same stuff over and over because that way I don’t have to thibk about it as much (and even then it’s still hard to choose from the usual stuff).

If I have to be somewhere early in the morning, I write on my plan for the day before to choose my clothes before bed, otherwise I lose half an hour and get really stressed,if there’s time pressure as I will already be running late. I think this may be may be my OCPD more than the ADHD, but who knows.


#32

I’m pretty indecisive I think :thinking: Actually I’m not sure. Maybe, I don’t know. I’ll have to get back to you on that. What was the question again?

Seriously though, I’m very indecisive. That’s one thing I’m sure of. The thing I hate about it the most is the anxiety that comes with it, even when I finally make a decision (worried I made the wrong decision). I still need help in this area for sure


#33

I find I’m locked up the most when at work and faced with a smorgasbord of small to medium tasks all at once. Which ones do I do first? What is the priority order? Even when I unfreeze and actually decide to work on something, inevitably it leads to discovering roughly 5 more things that should happen at the same time or before I finish that decided task.

It’s almost as if I’m one of the few people who can see the full picture, the full consequences of everything I’m supposed to do… and that makes it infinitely harder to decide what should be done in what order. Does that make sense? Like I feel as though my colleagues can often plow through their tasks easily but often bump up against consequences they didn’t foresee… whereas I can see it ALL, laid out, clearly, and it’s almost as if I have to find the exact right orchestration of task order so that I can avoid the future pitfalls that are so evident to me if things go OUT of order.

The only time this is not exhausting is when I get the magical moment of clarity and all of the tasks fall into place: yesterday was such a day, and people actually commented several times on my productivity since I was able to barrel down a list of things effectively once I saw the “path” I needed to take!

Indecision for me is because I can see too much of what will happen for every decision I make. Anyone else?


#34

@vkawesome

Thank you, you hit the nail right on the head for me there!

In my first office job I got a new manager who basically invoked the disciplinary procedure for my adhd, though I didn’t know until nearly 30 years later that that’s what it was. You just described me in that job to a T.


#35

Way late into the convo and have not read messages above, but i used too be terrible at being on the fence, now getting fit again on the bike and nicotine patches i make a choice within a split second, not sure if that helps at all but it is def something that can be overcome :slight_smile:


#36

I can totally relate to that. I think I am not that bad at major desicions, but minor everyday choices messes me up. Like scheduling appointments. Or writing the same paragraph a dozen times, ending up with the first. Or stopping in a movement, should I pick up knife or fork first. Bring jam or Cleese first to the table. When stressed it is crazy. And worst of all conflicting obligations, real or imagine., I think it has something to do with insecuriy too, but also some nevrological frontal lobe thing. Both impulsive and rasheeda and paralyzed insecure. From microlevel to relationships.


#37

Well, yes and no. I find rituals help organize a day and make decisions. When I don’t do that…like on a Saturday…
Normal day: Get up, stretch & positive daily sayings while stretching. Quick meditation (5-15minutes). Shower, shave, breakfast, and out the door or working on tasks.
Saturday: Get up. Oh, Laundry! Do that. I should eat. Oh, right, finish that chili I prepared last night. And on and on. So here it is, 345 pm. Yeah, all my laundry is done and mostly put away. Yeah, most of the chili has been packaged up and put in the fridge. Yeah, I’ve done some dishes…uuuuuh…Oh, i should get my prescription for ADHD meds filled today. Oh, gym…yeah, I should do that to. and stop off at the library. Oh, I guess I’m not doing all that stuff I said I would today.

Knowing that, I usually try to step outside for a walk around noon. That usually helps focus me. Today i didn’t.

All that being said, sometimes the best thing is to make a decision and build from there. Walks help. Meditation helps. Different helps. But it may not work for you. Find something that clears your mind when you do this. Find also a backup. when you feel yourself spinning, do this “mind clearing activity”. It can be for 5 minutes, an hour, what ever. And reflect at what you have done. Even if it’s a small thing. One speaker I heard said “make your bed every day. It’s a small thing, but at the least you did do one thing to completion.”

Okay, no more hanging around the internet. Going outside while there’s still light.


#38

:joy: about the bed-making! I actually bought a book called ‘never make your bed!’ (in Dutch). It’s more unhygienic than leaving it open, apparently.

At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it :grin:


#39

All the time.

I found myself sitting and sitting and sitting around not knowing what to do while others just went along and did their stuff. Their running around was already distracting enough. :smile:

Or deciding what to do first. Or having to choose in a supermarket between different brands of jam (that was when I was younger). Or deciding what to cook, or buying clothes, etc.

I have let others decide for me alot.


#40

I can totally relate to this… one of the ways I deal with it is by thinking whats going to bring more joy if neither works I ask what is easiest to do and I write of list and set a timer before starting something.

check out ADDitudemagazine.com they have so many tools


#41

Reading everyone’s comments is making me feel so relieved I’m not alone with my indecisiveness…

I’ve always been very indecisive with everything. I often become very self-conscious at the supermarket when I realise how funny it must look that I’m just standing there staring at everything. :joy: But it is such a tough choice, how should I know if I want satsumas or oranges? :smiley:

And sometimes even making the decision doesn’t end the indecisiveness! I usually just order whatever the people I’m with are having when I’m at a restaurant 'cause I know that no matter how good my food is, if theirs looks better I won’t be able to stop thinking that I should have ordered the same thing!