I keep making the experience that even the people who believe and accept my diagnosis have a hard time accepting it when it applies to something they want that I can’t provide. It’s like they accept the general notion but not its consequences. Maybe because they don’t want to change how they deal with me or because it affects them - I don’t know. I just know it’s frustrating. On both sides.
Just the other day I alienated the heck out of my mother because she wanted me to do one ‘simple’ thing that I knew in advance (from experience) I wouldn’t be able to do because my brain would stop me at every step. She’s certainly not a denialist. She’s been very supportive on my way to the diagnosis and knows there are things my brain just won’t let me do. But surely the things she expects of me aren’t much to ask, right?
I now it’s hard to get across. It’s one thing to realize my brain works differently but another to accept it when that affects a very concrete aspect of one’s relationship with me. But that’s just what ADHD (or any mental quirk, for that matter) does. It doesn’t just affect life in general but all the little interactions in it.
Also, when it happens repeatedly with the same people, every time I factor in ADHD it sounds more like an excuse. I’m thinking of one friend in particular who keeps asking, about different and seemingly unrelated things why I’m not doing this or why I never do that - and the answer is always the same. Even I get tired of only having one answer to all those questions. I’m still glad because that’s one more than I used to have, but that effect sometimes wears thin.
This branches off the “I dont belive in ADHD Talk” thread. It’s a similar frustration but not on the general level, more in the day-to-day sense. Do you get it, too? How do you deal with this kind of situation?