Hello, Brains and Hearts!
So Neuro Typical people often try to say that ADHDers only care about what they love therefore they neglect what is important. Then they chalk it all down to laziness, then say ADHD does not exist… So I want to write in the best way I know How… to explain this. Every ADHDer is different though we can all relate pretty much everything…crazy. Let me know in the comments if you can relate if you even understand what I am Writing…If this helps? Is there anything I need to expand on to make this clearer?
Love you all! God Bless!
When the family game night always rolled around, they would all gather around the kitchen table and play their games. Dominoes, Risk, Bible Trivia, Chess…you name it, they played it. Every member of the family was accounted for, laughter rolling through the house. All were there except for one, adopted oddball of the family, who was normally alone these nights… in the classroom.
Oh no he wasn’t in trouble at all. He was in “the zone” doing what he loved to do best, with the extra spare hours he could get, writing stories… or drawing. Yep! That is still me to this day, (hence this book).
I could never understand how to truly win at risk for the longest time. My attention span for chess was never long…, especially when most of my pieces were gone within five minutes. Checkers was just the “hillbilly” version of Chess or so I would say. Dominoes, I had the darnedest time trying to understand the math, and Virginia, my younger sister would have to add up my scores. So when Saturday Game Night was going on I usually wandered off to my desk to continue my handwritten, 100 page “short” story for English Class.
Writing was my escape from the world and all I was…not… good at. Any bit a spare time that came my way, I was always writing. Lunch in the cafeteria, Recess, Math Class…my pencil was latched to my right-hand fingers like a leech. I don’t even think a fireman would have been able to pry the pencil out of my hand…it was locked and loaded.
Now, one might think I was just focusing on the things that I loved and lazily neglecting or intentionally disregarding the things I needed to do. When in actuality my, which is constantly hungry for something, finds that something, It’s like a bulldog that bites. Once his jaws have latched into whatever it thinks is… interesting…it’ll take more than a pry-bar to open its jaws. More often than not thats the case in an ADHD brain. So the multi-tasking comes into effect, while still hopelessly obsessed and focused on that one thing.
Imagine a tug of war game, and you are the anchor in the back. Yet in one hand you are heaving with all of your might! But in your other hand, you are tugging on another rope for another team at the same time, and that one is the most important one, but you are the strongest man on the other not so important at the moment, but it’s your passion.
Once the ADHD brain has found its passion, it’s near impossible not to dwell or obsess over it. We can’t help it! There’s no way for us to can it and put it in storage. So in my case, I tend to multitask with my passion constantly on my mind which tends to overlap my “priority focus,” work, school, private and social life, most of the time.
My family would often take it, that I was just not interested in spending time with them…which was not, and still to this day, not the truth…In all reality, I truly wanted to spend time with them. I loved them and after all my parents had saved my life before I was born. They talked my biological mother, who was only 15 at the time, out of abortion. I owed them everything! I loved them! They are my true family!
However, not understanding the rules or structuring of the games…and loose… my passion would make the executive decision to hyper-focus on writing or drawing rather than the priority of, “family time.” It sucked, and I truly felt like a dirtbag for doing so, but I just could not pry my brain’s jaws from writing, I was good at it and excelled in it! Though I just simply did not know enough about my own brain to explain it to them.
For the longest time, my mom would tell me,
“You just don’t understand strategy, that’s why you never understand the games we play…It’s why you are not good at Chess…It’s why you are anti-social and don’t spend time with your family… It’s your ADHD.”
Many years I held her words as truth and accepted that I really was “Impaired” to slow to keep up with society without medication. That was until five years ago when I came across something, something very interesting and intriguing. Something that caused me to…begin… to rethink the whole ADHD thing. For the first time in my life, I realized I was trying to get through life while metaphorically playing chess with Unconventional strategies. However, that’s when I discovered the Doctrine of Unconventional Warfare, from the U.S. ARMY Special Forces… which is another story for another time.