feeling idk everything all at once (feeling like my brain going to implode)

hi, my name is Lexi I am 19 years old and have ADHD and I live in western Pennsylvania I was diagnosed when I was 8 years old. I watched Jessica’s ted talk video and my reaction was like oh my god this is like my life.so let me tell you a little bit about my story. I was diagnosed when I was 8 years old. I was put on medication immediately after that.so I went through school and I had my struggles with homework and other things but my mom and everybody didn’t really worry as long as my grades were good. I thought i was doing fine I was doing amazing my senior year of high school. I graduated got a summer job and come fall I moved into college. I did okay for the first week or so and then I started skipping classes staying in my room a lot and feeling like crap and wanting to do well and to do my work and just not know how to get myself to do it.

  so weeks went by and then months and before I knew it I had failed almost all of my classes.so I dropped out and went home to live with my mom. I felt like a total failure. To be perfectly honest I kind of still do everybody had been so sure I could do and so was I at the time. I feel like I let everyone down. now it is year later from when I first moved into college. and while I do have a job. I still feel like I haven't made much progress at all. 

My mom told me that she can’t understand how I can be so smart and yet so so stupid at the same time. ( she literally just said theses exact words just last week.) my mom has said that she is at the end of her tether and she is almost constantly yelling at me these days for not doing enough around the house and being on my electronics too much reading fanfiction.

I feel like a total catastrophic failure at life and being independent and making decisions like an adult should. and I just don’t know how to fix it or what to do anymore I am honestly running out of ideas, so I would really appreciate some advice about what to do right now.

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There’s a lot of stuff to unpack and work through. I might suggest the book “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?

It sounds like your mom could benefit from some education about what ADHD is. Do you think she’d be willing to read anything or listen to any podcasts or watch some of the HowToADHD videos? If not, then it may be more about helping negotiate with her about what her expectations are and helping her understand what is realistic and also what you’re willing to do. It can be hard when you’re living with family because they can expect and demand a lot.

It’s important too that you’re getting support outside of the home. When someone we love says hurtful things like were said to you it can wear on us and make us feel unsafe in our own lives. It’s important to seek out a friend, professional, or other support to help navigate these challenging times. If you’re not seeing a therapist or coach yet that might be a way to negotiate with your mother. “I think I can get better at some of these things around the house if I start seeing someone to work through these challenges.”

There are so many thoughts I have but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Welcome to the community! I wish you the best of luck and hope you find good support here!

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Yes, welcome to the community Lexus_Lloyd.
I like the advice quietlylost gave you. I am way older, but I also have the feeling that we have to educate the people around us in order not to feel like a failure. I can connect.

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thank you

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thanks i appreate the support

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there is a song called everything at once by mothica and its good

hmm i dont think i have ever heard of it what music genre?

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I dunno but its a single from a tiktoker but here is her music video for the song on youtube

Sending love :heart:

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