Feeling so relieved right now... Hello! :)


#1

Hi everyone! :slight_smile:

I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD yet, but I’m sure I have it…

I’m now 25 years old, and I’ve been a bit “different” my whole life but I never thought that much of it. At school, and sometimes even now as an adult, my friends would joke about the way my mind works and always seem surprised or amused at my thought patterns (that I find completely normal of course!). I’ve always been a daydreamer and had a wild imagination.

I’m usually very happy, energetic, and lively, but I went through an intense period of anxiety and even mild depression recently.
It started gradually when I started to compare myself to my friends and people I used to go to school with, seeing how everyone has achieved so much with their education and career and relationships, while I’m stuck with no higher education degrees (I’ve started studying on many courses but was never able to finish them as I usually become uninterested after about half a year of doing the same thing, and find the routine of going to school at the same time every day, and doing any written assignments pretty much impossible!), no real success in my work life (I have LOTS of business and creative ideas and career aspirations but never seem to quite achieve what I want, or it takes me about ten times as long to do things than for most people!), and I’m also eternally single (maybe because I’d like to skip the swiping on Tinder or first date part and go straight to the part where I’d get to have actually interesting meaningful conversations with someone, and go on fun trips together? Or maybe because I don’t really like the idea of being with the same person for the rest of my life…)
I also sometimes felt stupid when I was in a group of people, as I have trouble paying attention to what everyone is saying so it’s making it harder to follow conversations. I zone out all the time, forget what people have just said to me, sometimes I even forget what I have been just about to say, and I could not help but feel somehow inadequate. I thought maybe I was just an idiot, or maybe I’ve bumped my head a bit too hard a bit too many times and now my brain just won’t work the way it’s supposed to…

When I was feeling the worst and the most depressed I have ever felt, I spent a lot of time trying to find out what’s going on with me and how I could get better. I’ve been on the waiting list for therapy for many months now so I’ve had lots of time to try and help myself…
I googled about every possible mental health disorder I could find, but nothing seemed to quite fit me. I researched personality disorders, autism spectrum disorders, depression, and anxiety, but always skipped reading anything about ADHD because as soon as I saw the letters “ADHD”, I thought of hyperactive little kids running around and thought “oh, that couldn’t be me!”.
Obviously I was stuck with a harmful stereotype… Very luckily a good friend of mine recently told me she might have ADHD, and told me more about the inattentive type. I had never known it existed!!
I looked into ADHD more, and I can’t believe how well it describes my life!!! Now I have an actual reason to all the things that made me feel depressed in the first place, and an explanation to lots of little things I never quite understood about myself, like why it always takes me hours to fall asleep, why I’m incredibly impulsive, and why I’m so interested in doing pretty much everything that’s possible to do on this planet! :smiley: Or why I’m ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, late, and why I think it’s possible to practice playing the piano, clean the house and get dressed to go out all in ten minutes, even after I’ve seen many times it’s not quiiiiite enough time for all that… :wink:

It’s only been a few days now, and I feel incredibly relieved and happy. Suddenly I understand that there is nothing wrong with me as a person, it’s just my brain… It’s my brain that’s making me constantly late, that forgets to reply to messages, that refuses to do any paperwork… It’s my brain that’s made me quit studying before, that’s made it too hard to meet someone to date or to start my dream career…
I’ve found the How to ADHD videos on Youtube incredibly helpful and relatable, so I stumbled across this forum and I’m very happy to be here and to find my tribe! :slight_smile:
I obviously still need to get my diagnosis from a doctor but that might still take a while. But I’m sure that some peer support will be super helpful too!

Of course, I still have a lot to learn about living with ADHD and how to manage it, and use it for being extra creative and awesome! But right now I am just incredibly relieved and happy to know it’s not my fault that I’ve had problems in life, that I’m not a failure, and I’m not alone!!

I’m looking forward to virtually meeting some of you!! :slight_smile:


#2

Hi
You’re symptoms sound very similar to mine, I’m also undiagnosed although I’m trying everything I can to be seen, I’ve found this forum so useful, every time I find that I’m struggling with something, I write a post and find others going through exactly the same thing, sometimes it’s just nice to know there are others that understand your difficulties and you can also get alot of good tips too.


#3

This made me cry and also feel so understood at the same time. I have inattentive type ADHD. I’m in high school, and I already struggle with so many of those things. I’m comparing myself to all my friends and what they’ve accomplished, and what I haven’t.

I’m worried I’ll never get married because of my social skills and anxiety about even looking or speaking to others. I’m worried I’ll never go to post secondary education and disappoint everyone in my life.

I still have a lot of the more childish symptoms of ADHD… fidgeting with my hands or feet, crying easily, occasional meltdowns, bouncing off the walls… and maybe those will die down soon but I know I’ll eventually have problems with finances, relationships and getting to work on time or holding a job.

Your post made me feel better knowing that I’m not the only person who will struggle with these things when I’m an adult, and I’ll eventually get through it. So thank you! :yellow_heart:


#4

That’s so great! :slight_smile:


#5

Aw that means a lot! :orange_heart:
I think you’re in a better position though than I was at your age as you have a diagnosis so you can plan ahead and think of coping strategies that will help you achieve what you want. :slight_smile:
And at least, when things get difficult there’s always this whole supportive community online and so many people who have already gone through similar struggles and who can help!


#6

I’m sorry to say that I’ve tried to read this several times but I keep getting distracted :sweat_smile:. But I’m happy you are here and it’s nice to meet you!


#7

you seem like such a nice person not like some people who can be mean some times :slight_smile::yellow_heart:


#8

Hi Violet, welcome to the tribe.

It’s always so great to hear that somebody else has finally been able to put 2 + 2 together, and not get 22 as the answer for a change. It’s a huge moment in life.

But… I have one criticism…

Why are people constantly coming here, taking a photocopy of my life, and presenting it as their own??? Have some originality, people. I’m unique!!! You can’t all be just like me. Can you? :thinking:

Just kidding, of course.

Such a strange feeling. To go from being an outcast, lazy, inept weirdo, to being just another ADHD statistic. Strange, but good.

Just put one foot in front of the other from here, and see where you end up. I’m really happy for you.


#9

Haha!! I have been wondering about the same thing! It’s so great and so strange at the same time…


#10

You’ve just joined a club where you are one of the normal ones, and everybody else is a weirdo. :wink: