Finally getting my act together! 😁

Hi all!
I’m Josh and I’m turning 40 later this year. I’m a husband, dad to 2 wonderfully insane kids, an IT professional, casual live streamer with my wife, and lifelong gamer.

I was diagnosed with ADD(before the added the H, oof I’m old haha) back in elementary school, somewhere between 1990-1992. Prior to my diagnosis I spent countless hours in hospitals with doctors and mental health professionals to figure out “what was wrong with me” until they finally diagnosed me with, what they referred to as, this new thing called ADD.

That time going through all those tests left me with some really bad depression to the point of wanting to take my own life in 3rd or 4th grade. The depression somewhat disappeared or at least wasn’t recognized for decades after that. Unfortunately due to a sudden death of my best friend and one of my grandparents passing away which sparked some very poor relationship decisions and ugly breakups over the course of a few years in my mid-late 20s the depression came roaring back with a vengeance. I’m so thankful that the suicidal thoughts didn’t return though however the depression was crippling and I found myself just fighting through it and faking it so no one around me knew how bad things were.

Ok, enough of the negative stuff, fast forward to 2012 and I met my now wife, we got married in May 2014, had our first kid in 2015…and our second 17 months later. Life has definitely been crazier but much better because of the 3 of them.

Back to my ADHD journey. I was prescribed meds a few years after my diagnosis but stopped taking them not long after that for who know what reason. I never really thought about it or researched ADHD so I just went through life assuming I was a smart but lazy loser. I got a new meds prescription a few years ago but have been inconsistently taking them and recently my ADHD has gotten a lot worse which has affected my relationship with my wife. I only recently found HowToADHD and watching the videos I realized basically every single thing throughout my whole life was related to my ADHD. I’m excited to learn more about it, meeting others who also live with it, and making changes to help me live my best life with ADHD.
Josh

4 Likes

Isn’t it amazing to see just how many of our traits & “peculiarities” relate to ADHD?! Welcome to the community, Josh!

3 Likes

it’s super refreshing in a way!

2 Likes

Welcome to the HowToADHD forums Josh @weirdbeard

I’m 46, also an IT worker, and also a family man (married 20 years to my high school sweetheart, with 4 kids).

I didn’t get diagnosed until age 45, but when I did my whole life made sense. I can identify with thinking of myself as…

…I didn’t mean to come across as lazy (I’ve even learned multiple time management and productivity systems that I just couldn’t make work for me), and in fact my mind just kept going and going, but was affected by undiagnosed and untreated ADHD inattentiveness and distractibility. What others saw as a motivation issue with me was actually my ADHD.

I’ve struggled maybe a few times with depression (only diagnosed the last time), but I’ve found myself to be more prone to anxiety (officially diagnosed at the same time that I was diagnosed with ADHD).

Medication has been the best help for me. I was so desperate for help that I actually made it a daily habit to take my ADHD meds, when I haven’t been able to establish any other habits consistently. I think that it was because of how strong my desire to change was.

My ADHD has definitely been a factor in my relationship issues with my wife (not the only factor, mind you…I’ve also put my foot in my mouth a bunch of times, and I don’t think that the ADHD is responsible for that). Years of anxiety also took a toll. Now I’m trying very hard to work on our relationship. (I’ve read more relationship books in the last 3 months than in any previous decade in my life.)

2 Likes

Well… may be it is!

2 Likes

Thanks @khagen

And then there’s this:

Although I think that this may be a comorbidity of mine, given that I am compelled to be truthful (it is nearly impossible for me to tell a lie), and am also compelled to follow a very rigid personal code of ethics.


But what is the deal with all the articles that kept coming up in my search about ADHD and compulsive lying? (Maybe this is just an ADHD impulsivity tendency that I’m not familiar with.) I’d characterize most of the ADHD Brains I’ve met as being as honest as (or possibly in general more honest than) the average neurotypical person that I’ve met.

  • Most of the compulsive liars that I’ve met didn’t seem to have ADHD. They seemed to be of the narcissistic personality type (which I think is completely independent of whether a person has ADHD or not), or bipolar in a manic phase.
1 Like