G’day to y’all,
not sure where to post or even if I should be. I am hoping you are all doing ok and just writing a quick note as to, things.
So on Thursday I finally got into seeing a Psychiatrist because 10 years ago I was told I should not and 8 weeks ago I could not because I was not double vaccinated. On Friday morning I had my first of two tablets of dexamphetamine for the day, managed to get through the day without loosing my temper at anyone, noticing that I could deliberately context switch more and I worked into the night coding, because (like I am now).
3’rd day on it and well I can’t say that life has changed overnight (because I seem not to want to go to sleep and I have a deadline that I needed to attend to and and … ) but definitely getting better at holding my tongue and not being … as impulsive … kinda also notice when it wears off I start rubbing people the wrong way (apologies if this message does that here … just wanted to type/talk)
I’m blind testing the rest of the family and at this point no one seems to have noticed anything (apart from me being awake into the night), so I’ll let sleeping dogs lie. Especially because I am feeling rather upset about not having tried this avenue for over 10 years and the combined specialist appointment and prescription was peanut money compared to what I’ve spent (cost me half as much as a psychologist appointment and all of it was on the public health care system here) worse still what it has cost in other ways. They better not find out when it has worn off because I might bark back bad.
Can’t say it’s all roses and no thorns, there’s been a little nausea and headache from lack of sleep, and definitely have had a few WTF moments esp last night as the dose wore off , I needed sleep , and everything started being in slow motion and we had to go out to visit family.
I’m not sure I need two tabs a day (well atm I do, this deadline wooshed past like so many before) saw a post from @Bubbles17 that you’d cut back on the second one for the day and were still managing fine.
One thing that was awesome was a being able to have a sense of accomplishment when I finished something, weird how even when I got something finished before I felt like I should feel more satisfied but had to tell myself rather than just feeling it, and only in the past few days has that actually been happening.
Hoping you’re all doing fine and I’ll be back sometime in the week, 40 years of habits are not going to change overnight but I think I just found a rudder.
and
to you all.