Frustration, chores, and meds


#1

The past couple days have been very difficult. And as I’m learning with my ADHD… its actually been the past month or so, but the cumulative effect of not putting things away and leaving emails in my inbox has finally revealed itself in a tsunami of frustration.

I was diagnosed about a year ago. I’ve had my HUGE ups and some very low lows. Taking my medication and getting the diagnosis was incredible… but now the meds aren’t working as well. I upped my dose from 20 mg (IR - generic adderall) to 30 mg which worked for a while, but I was having a really hard time sleeping, and coming down from the medication left me a mess. At the end of the night I’d be running around trying to get things ready for work the next day and eventually crash and feel like I was going to explode. Now recently I was prescribed 25 mg XR (adderall --this time name brand) with 20 mg IR as a booster, twice a day.

At first I loved it. I felt happy, on task, clear, motivated. Then a couple days later I still felt happy, but not motivated. I just wanted to read my book or watch a movie and hyper focus on that. Work has been so hard. I’m forgetting things, time is disappearing, and now I’m getting anxious again. I haven’t felt the social anxiety my diagnosis and honestly, I forgot what it felt like! I’m starting to feel like everything is my fault again. I feel like I’m falling down rabbit hole. My days are so up and down. Last night I was in a total brain fog and was crying in bed next to my husband.

I know I need to adjust my meds but I don’t know how. I trust my psychiatrist and plan to call him and get a new script. I guess what I’m looking for is support and to hear about other’s experiences. How do you balance everything? If you go to therapy in addition to seeing the medication wizard, what is it like? Has it helped? Has anyone gone to support groups?

Thanks for reading :slight_smile: any and all advice or words of support are appreciated.


#2

So. I’m in the middle of my own medication journey. Taking a mixture of clonidine at night and Vyvanse in the morning. Because strictly Vyvanse wasn’t working out. Granted I haven’t kept up a proper routine so I have NO idea if it works… but every time I’d up the vyvanse it would feel like it stopped working a week later. Like my mood was still fine, but I just didn’t want to do what I should be doing. So I relate to that. A lot.

I don’t really know how I balance things… the vyvanse keeps my mood fairly stable throughout the day… and other stressors in life are pretty crushing in their weight… therapy helps. Talking through what’s going on and how to deal with it in a healthy way helps… I honestly couldn’t live without therapy right now. I also am in a local support group that just started. (I almost was like AND I’M ON THIS PEER SUPPORT FORUM then realized… I’m responding to you ON that forum… I’M DOING GREAT TODAY.) The local support group has only met twice so far so I don’t know how much it helps me personally, but I’ve seen it help my boyfriend.

I honestly spend a lot of time decompressing after work. Doing my own thing. Playing a video game or something… and it’s not the greatest way to cope since it takes HOURS for me to decompress but… it’s all I’ve got right now until things smooth out just a little bit more.

Don’t know if this helps or not :sweat_smile: but good luck with the medication! Finding the right one can be… a journey.


#3

Hey i am a bit drunk to give you detailed answer because i could not read all the way through your post, but from what i gathered you get frustrated trying to make it all work together, i was diagnosed about 4 years ago i lose track of exactly how long but over that time i have felt every emotion and all over the show but its all coming together mostly, its all different for each person but i would say ride it out and its worth it in the end when it starts making sense, and personally i think its a massive thing for your brain to deal with so respect that about it and keep working away at it because it does get better, my tips would be medication can make a huge difference you need to figure out what drug/dosage works and it can be a long time of trial and error and exercise can make a huge difference compared to anything else but you gotta find some sort of exercise you can get addicted to


#4

Thank you both.

The fact that I have a long commute gets in the way… I sometimes only have a couple hours at home before bed. We all know how fast two hours can go by!

Thank you though. I definitely need to give my brain a break… I can’t wait to find the right dose and medication that works for me, not only for two days, but in the long term. I’m still battling that little voice from my 26 years of non-diagnosis that’s telling me I’m lazy, stupid, and failing. I know I’m not, and yet it’s there, so do I really believe it? I’m not sure.

This is why I think therapy and peer support and what I need… just have to find a way to make the time and be on time. It feels really difficult to figure out, but I know it would help.

It brings me great peace and hope to know that 1. I’m not alone and 2. there is a light at the end. Thank you <3