Gently Telling a Friend They Might Have ADHD?


#1

So, I recently realised I very probably have ADHD. Still waiting for a diagnosis, but I’m telling my close friends as it’s such a huge thing happening in my life right now!

And actually, one of my best friends very likely has it too. He has pretty much all the symptoms, so I want to mention it, but I’m afraid it will come out wrong if I don’t carefully think about what to say! I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to play a psychiatrist and “analyse” him, or like I’m projecting my own ADHD on him.

Have any of you been in that situation, either telling a friend/partner/family member or being told by someone that you might have ADHD? Do you have any tips for what really works, or anything I should avoid saying?

I’m probably just overthinking this, but I can imagine that if it comes out of the blue it could be quite shocking, so I’m curious to hear about your experiences and ideas!

Thanks for any help!! :slight_smile:


#2

I remember being asked by a work colleague if I might have autism, i wasn’t offended in fact it led me too look into adhd so has helped alot, but I don’t think everyone would have reacted in the same way, it depends on the person and your relationship with them, I think the safest way is just to talk about your own symptoms and see how they react, I’d let them come to there own conclusion, but saying that I would have been perfectly happy If someone suggested to me that I might have ADHD.


#3

I agree with @Samuelburns, and would add that you could talk more about the reasons why you didn’t think you had it. Could be that some of those things you used to tell yourself to explain things away may resonate with him as much as the adhd things you recognise in yourself.

And if you do say you think he has it, maybe couch that in ‘omg since I got my diagnosis it’s like I see it everywhere!’. If they want to shrug it off, that makes it easier and less likely to wreck the friendship.


#4

Thanks for you replies! :slight_smile: @Samuelburns @Lustforlife

Yeah I agree it’s probably best if he can take his time with it and come to his own conclusion. And now that I think about it, I think if I just tell about what I’ve noticed in myself it will be enough as many of my ADHD traits are things we have in common anyway… And that’s a great idea too to mention why at first I thought I wouldn’t have it!

That happened to me with another friend telling about her ADHD and a little later I realised I probably have it too! It’s like a Domino effect haha! I can just imagine what will happen when I start telling my family…
The only thing is it took me a little while after my friend told me because I kept telling myself my problems must be because of something else, but also because I kinda felt like I didn’t want to take that away from her, as if it was “her thing”, if that makes sense… :smiley:
So in a way it might have been easier if she had said I might have it too.

So, yes, guess it depends on the situation and the person a lot! I’ll have to see how it goes and what feels best in the moment :slight_smile:

Anyway, I’m rambling now… :grinning: