Getting caught in the act of ADHD, or a lifetime of failed expectations.

Hey friends,
Just found this community. Seems like a great resource. I’m a 36-year-old husband and father of three boys, first diagnosed with ADHD when I was 13.

I’m a lifelong over-extender, over-committer with skills and interests all over the place. Along with three boys, a wife, a dog, a mortgage, and a full-time job, I also run a small business, which has had its ups and downs. This spring, we enjoyed a hugely successful project. I couldn’t have been more proud. But just yesterday, I received some feedback from some folks who worked with me who had some pretty scathing assessments of my leadership, and without saying so directly, rattled off a litany of ADHD symptoms. I’m having a pretty crappy day, rethinking and overthinking what I had considered a positive experience. It’s one of those times I want to wish this disorder away so I don’t have to be such a constant disappointment, with a running reputation of setting people up for failure.

It’s possible the situation isn’t as bad as it feels, but it feels bad, and I could really use some validation.

Thank you.

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“I’m a 36-year-old … Along with three boys, a wife, a dog, a mortgage, and a full-time job, I also run a small business, which has had its ups and downs. This spring, we enjoyed a hugely successful project. I couldn’t have been more proud.”

— You just wrote your own validation.

As to the scathing leadership assessments: if the criticism is constructive, count yourself lucky you’ve received this highly valuable information, and work on ways to make improvements where possible. Constructive criticism from collaborators imply they value you enough to suggest improvements to keep the relationship going; versus passive-aggressive silence which implies they’re finished. Don’t lose your soul in resolving their assessments, but do find where it makes fair and mutually beneficial sense to continue improving yourself.

Best,
-S

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I think you should be proud of all you are accomplishing, while you are working on refining your methods. It can be tough trying to work with and manage so many other people... Some days it’s difficult for me just managing myself and asking for help or support is something I struggle with. I hope that your team becomes more supportive, and works with you to keep a cohesive team running. If I formulate some practical advice response, I would like to share if you would like. Right now, all I can say is keep Rockin ! You are doing better than you think you are. I admire your efforts to juggle so many things. I’m working on re structuring my schedule, trying to get some semblance of a routine back into place after moving and starting full time grad school , and considering what to do about career opportunities.

Becoming an entrepreneur is a dream of mine, so it’s inspiring to hear your story. The struggle is real… but we are warriors! :slight_smile:

Stay Awesome!
Thank you for sharing.

![image|500x500](upload://oh1LXqrZJ1jwjv62KJ1QGLrRy2C.jpeg)

PS , this is my first time writing html or writing on a forum, please understand if my post ends up a messy jumble of letters. Fingers crossed

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Hey there @GlobalThinker! Welcome to the tribe :grin:
Just wanted to let you know I loved your post but the image didn’t work out. By some accidental magic I got it to work but yeah:


Hope that’s helpful :yum:

1 Like