Got here too late I see...

It seems I may have arrived at the party too late (the forum being decommissioned). I have seen some of the videos on YT in my journey of information and knowledge with my new dx. Yet, I never knew there was a forum. I just stopped seeking it. I have mainly been reaching out for more community support than my therapist, family, and friends. Sometimes a stranger’s advice is what you need. The thing is, I tend to start with getting support, and either I become apathetic for whatever reason, be it time, the answer, etc. Or maybe I just wait until it worsens - I don’t know. I am just someone here starting to learn how to live with this.

Hi Jolt, and welcome to the forums!

That message was there ever since I joined more almost two years ago I think and the forum is still running. . . don’t make me feel apocalyptic, I don’t want this forum to disappear! :pray: :sweat_smile: Thank you for joining us :slight_smile:

I also find it difficult to stay engaged and keep trying with my life. It might be that you have learned to avoid things and use escapist coping strategies? Could be unrecognised mild depression? Anxiety? A large part of it for me are learned coping strategies. I think that trauma plays an important role in life of anyone (or most people at least) with ADHD.

Welcome to the HowToADHD forums @Jolt !

I think that the intent is for the forums to transition to a new platform, not to retire them altogether. That post went up my first year on the forum, two years ago (the same time that I got my ADHD diagnosis).

I’m grateful that this forum has been here for all this time, because it’s been a huge help for me, both with ADHD and with dealing with life in general.


Yeah, after seeing posts well after that pin date, I figured it could still be active. I was expecting that as soon as I started somewhere, it would shift somewhere else. I have also been diagnosed with GAD and OCD. So, racing/intrusive thoughts are a constant battle - yay! The coping strategies help, but sometimes it is getting to the part of applying the techniques that can be difficult. I feel being an escapist is something I learned at a very young age. I always tried to be, and still do, the diplomatic one (in my mind), but often it is due to me having an issue with confrontation. I can be a “people pleaser” at my own expense.

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I am glad to see there is another area to meet similar people. I was also diagnosed with T1 diabetes in my early twenties, and it was always hard cause there wasn’t anyone I could go to for advice. Now that I am in my 30s and realizing more about myself and my brain, it is comforting to know there is a source (other than my therapist or doctor) where I can get more information or at least relate to others.

I agree that applying the strategies is the most difficult part. With regards to escapism and avoidance, for me this is likely because my effort wasn’t consistently rewarded and the reward didn’t reflect my efforts - both at home and later at school. So I have learned that I should try hard and this could sometimes lead to some reward and recognition, but other times I would be “punished” anyway or punished failure, so it might be safer to just avoid the pain of trying when it doesn’t lead to anything good, even though its not in line with my values. You can see that this should be possible to unlearn if you treat yourself well (reward yourself for trying). There is also the issue of prioritizing which might be down to not knowing what is that thing you should do and that will lead to “reward” in the past. I might be wrong, but I think that similar mechanism could apply to most people.

I need to improve at positively reinforcing myself when I achieve something - no matter how small. I avoid certain situations because I don’t want that feeling of being let down. So, I avoid it and go to something I know won’t let me down. I’ve read that is why we comfort in things like rewatching our favorite TV show, something nostalgic, or our favorite food. We know what to expect, and there is no chance of being surprised. I am terrible at prioritizing, haha. I am the person that does a task unrelated to the tasks at hand because it grabs my attention more. I am the guy cleaning the attic because guests are coming over instead of mopping the floors.