So I’ve been working in a technically demanding role for the last 4 months or so. I’ve had to read thousands of pages of tech manuals and procedures, and learn to put all of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together.
I was doing well, and making great progress (I thought).
I only received my diagnosis a week before I started the new job, so this was the first time I had to notify my supervisors that I have ADHD.
The rest of my work crew were distant and uncooperative from the first day, and that made it tough.
But with my new meds, I was getting further than I ever have before with the work.
In the end, while I was gaining ground with the work, I was getting stressed by my interactions with the rest of the crew.
I blew up at a senior crew member (one of the ones I actually get along well with). He was notorious for being nit picky and pedantic, but I only really had a problem with him over a three night period, where he kept hammering me over little things, in an aggressive manner due to his lack of sleep, 12 hour shifts and his own stressful workload and family life.
He came at me out of the blue, and blasted me. So I blasted him back and let it all come out. I guess he tripped something in my brain (possibly related to my new meds), and I had a hissy fit out of all proportion to my usual way of handling this sort of thing.
The guy understood immediately how his behaviour had been unwarranted, and apologised sincerely to me. But my reaction had already done the damage.
After that, I knew all eyes were on me, and I lost confidence in my ability to do the job. I found myself going backwards.
I messed up a few times, and gave them the ammo to shoot me.
Which they did. I am now unemployed again.
Yippedy doo dah day.