Oh, here I come again.
Since childhood, I’ve always thought I’m different from the majority. But As I got to know about ADHD, things have changed. Not only are the weaknesses I face, but the strengths are also shared with me and my ADHD peers. I’m baffled how can someone know or share nearly every aspect of my life. I’ve always believed all the weaknesses are my fault and I had lost love and respect for myself. In this May 2022 I came across ADHD in a more informative way and the way I was brought into this hyper fixation that do I have ADHD or not was Ted talk by Jessica. Before that, I was believing that video games cause ADHD or watching television excessively. As stupid as this sounds it’s true. And my Indian fellow ADHDers will tell how carelessly mental health information is handled here. And it’s a real stigma to have any mental illness. As things started revealing in front of my brain with howtoadhd channel and many others like Brendan Mahan’s podcasts/workshop. I started loving myself again. How I held myself guilty for particular mistakes I had done for years. Recently following some depressive episodes I was asking my family that do their mind feel restless often that they can’t handle it? I wasn’t having proper language or definition for what I was feeling. I’m not making this up but I discovered meditation myself when I was 12-13 yo. Because I felt that my mind is going crazy and I’m not able to shut it up. I can sit but not still and not in a proper way:sweat_smile: the way disciplined and mature neurotypicals do. The thing I most struggle with I can’t stand still in one place even for a second, And I’m disappointed how advocates don’t mention it. When I’m on my legs I’m always in motion. And I’ve confessed to my parents many times I’m not able to sit for lunch/ dinner and I start to swing laterally or back and forth. And I eat very fast because eating is very boring for me until it’s my favorite food item. And whenever I have my favorite food Items I overeat. It’s embarrassing but you won’t judge me that’s why I’m telling this to you people. One day I ate a lot of food that I started vomiting just after that. And as weird as this sounds I started my lunch again because I had vomited out all and I was hungry af. Things have started making sense for me but problems still persist. I was creative and introspective and because of that some of the coping strategies howtoadhd shares, I had already invented for myself. First of all Please brag about this forum frequently on your channel. Seems like I’ve been here too late compared to when I started watching howtoadhd. And I forgot his name but whoever created this space for us, thank you from the deepest of my heart. My suicidal thoughts are not intense or are very weak as they were for 1 year. Some things are just not my fault.