I just wanted to start here and kind of have a way to talk about this. It’s hard for me to talk to people about it and it might be kind of a way to exhale for me. So I’m sorry if it’s all jumbled and all over the place.
For the past decade or more I’ve had issues with my memory particularly. It is unbelievably hard for me to remember and focus on almost anything. Including paying bills on time, budgeting my money and yes, even writing this. I’m trying to write this fast because if anything takes my mind off of this ( like my daughter a second ago) I will never do it.
This week was sort of a turning point for me. Yesterday I forgot to take the garbage to the road first thing. I then had my girlfriend tell me what she wanted me to make for supper and I totally heard everything she said, but I got all of the wrong things at the store and made the same but different style of supper then she wanted. I can’t even remember the word I’m looking for to explain that better but I might in a min. Then I realised that I forgot to pay my insurance which means I’ll have to pay it up front for the year from now on instead of monthly. I had planned to pay it earlier in the day but got side tracked.
I have had my parents calling me unorganized, and that I don’t pay attention or focus on anything. My gf and my parents and even my kids sometimes make me feel like I’m just stupid because I can lose track of everything.
I get angry super easy, about the stupidest things. Every day things. Mostly because I forget things or can’t pay attention to people.
Even as I write this I feel like I’m being cliche or something. But it is unbelievably frustrating. I spent all day today in a manic emotional roller coaster because I’m so fed up with it. And I finally contacted a place to go get looked at. And even now that I look back I think that maybe I don’t actually need to have it looked into but I know for a fact something isn’t right. I’ve known for a long time, I just lose track and rarely think of it again. But I’m doing it this time.
It gets so bad that I’m severely depressed alot and I can go from being depressed to angry to happy back to depressed in a matter of a half hour or 6 hrs. Depending.
Maybe if anyone has had the patients to read this far in, they could tell me what they think. I feel crazy for writing this and maybe I am lol I just found this forum and thought that maybe I’d find some other people who feel my frustration. I’ve looked at the symptoms of ADHD, and watched and read numorous articles and videos and I have these symptoms. Like all of them. Some more severe than others. Andi just feel like no one knows at all how I feel. Especially my gf. She just keeps telling me I don’t listen, when most of the time I feel like I am… she just gets and at me and it’s ruining my relationship with her and it’s already ruined my relationship with what friends I had.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Sorry it was a book lol just had to say it all at once or it wouldn’t be said.
Have a good day