Hello, maybe you can help me

Hello all.

I just wanted to start here and kind of have a way to talk about this. It’s hard for me to talk to people about it and it might be kind of a way to exhale for me. So I’m sorry if it’s all jumbled and all over the place.

For the past decade or more I’ve had issues with my memory particularly. It is unbelievably hard for me to remember and focus on almost anything. Including paying bills on time, budgeting my money and yes, even writing this. I’m trying to write this fast because if anything takes my mind off of this ( like my daughter a second ago) I will never do it.

This week was sort of a turning point for me. Yesterday I forgot to take the garbage to the road first thing. I then had my girlfriend tell me what she wanted me to make for supper and I totally heard everything she said, but I got all of the wrong things at the store and made the same but different style of supper then she wanted. I can’t even remember the word I’m looking for to explain that better but I might in a min. Then I realised that I forgot to pay my insurance which means I’ll have to pay it up front for the year from now on instead of monthly. I had planned to pay it earlier in the day but got side tracked.

I have had my parents calling me unorganized, and that I don’t pay attention or focus on anything. My gf and my parents and even my kids sometimes make me feel like I’m just stupid because I can lose track of everything.

I get angry super easy, about the stupidest things. Every day things. Mostly because I forget things or can’t pay attention to people.

Even as I write this I feel like I’m being cliche or something. But it is unbelievably frustrating. I spent all day today in a manic emotional roller coaster because I’m so fed up with it. And I finally contacted a place to go get looked at. And even now that I look back I think that maybe I don’t actually need to have it looked into but I know for a fact something isn’t right. I’ve known for a long time, I just lose track and rarely think of it again. But I’m doing it this time.

It gets so bad that I’m severely depressed alot and I can go from being depressed to angry to happy back to depressed in a matter of a half hour or 6 hrs. Depending.

Maybe if anyone has had the patients to read this far in, they could tell me what they think. I feel crazy for writing this and maybe I am lol I just found this forum and thought that maybe I’d find some other people who feel my frustration. I’ve looked at the symptoms of ADHD, and watched and read numorous articles and videos and I have these symptoms. Like all of them. Some more severe than others. Andi just feel like no one knows at all how I feel. Especially my gf. She just keeps telling me I don’t listen, when most of the time I feel like I am… she just gets and at me and it’s ruining my relationship with her and it’s already ruined my relationship with what friends I had.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Sorry it was a book lol just had to say it all at once or it wouldn’t be said.

Have a good day :crazy_face:

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Hey
Obviously nobody can diagnose you here but you sound exactly like me tbh, i just got diagnosed last year with primarily inattentive adhd and i am 35 married with two kids, i can relate to everything youve said But since i learnt more about adhd and them getting my diagnosis things have got so much easier.
So my advice would be learn as much as you can about adhd, the how to adhd videos on youtube are awsome, get an assessment as soon as you can and use these forums any time you need any help or advice about anything, there are a lot of people here who experience the same things as you and are more than happy to help, you are not alone :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hey there!

First things first, I can relate to a lot of the things you mention. Even though I don’t have kids (that’d mean I’d get even more overwhelmed, whoa) and I’m 23 years old, I only got diagnosed in February 2020.

For me the diagnosis changed a lot and almost everything for the better. I was completely lost, couldn’t plan the slightest, have been called lazy more often than the amount of steps I take on a good day (I know, weird comparison) and my parents, friends, they all said go do something. It took a complete mental breakdown to go and seek help, but the diagnosis made me into a different version of who I can be.

I can prioritize, I can actually listen to what people say to me in a conversation and of course, sometimes I all of a sudden completely zone out and miss 70% of a sentence or in my case, a 2 hour online college class. Does it bring irritation and frustration? It certainly does, but I wasn’t even in shape to be a student before the diagnosis, which makes it all the more miraculous that I even made it through High School, but I thank the weekly rhythm for that.

Anyway, I can only speak for myself, but the diagnosis made such a big change for me and the people around me too actually, that I can’t even imagine a situation where I had not gotten the diagnosis last year. It took the people around me a while to adjust to the idea and all of it (which is odd since I didn’t really have to adjust) but once they saw the positive impact it had on me they were all understanding and supportive. Which is not to say that I don’t ever run into problems with my different brain and people who seem to find it hard to get an understanding of how tough it can sometimes be (like some teachers in my case). But to me the pro’s definitely outweigh the cons.

One more thing, know that you’re not alone. I can relate to some things you describe and I think a lot of others can as well. We’ll be here for you, welcome. :upside_down_face:

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Hello @Canadian welcome to the forum !

Maybe go and see a therapist who understands ADHD,

Go through all your medical records .

To get a diagnosis of ADHD, a parent or parents have to show evidence or there has to be evidence from the medical records, before the age of 7, after the age of 7 or both , I think

I discovered that as a child certain
conditions stuck out, one barely mentioned.

Ask your medical doctor , see what he /she says if he / she has any knowledge of ADHD
Here are some ideas !

Good luck !

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