Hello, my name is Gray and I'm new

Hi everyone. My name is Gray and I’m 32 years old.

I came across How to ADHD on Youtube. I’m really new to it, but the more I watch and read, the more it made sense to how I think and act? I haven’t seen a doctor or therapist just yet (I’m not emotionally ready to go through that), so I’m not saying I’m diagnosed with ADHD. But the tips I’ve come across for adults have helped me. I’d love to be apart of this community, and hope I can learn more.

2 Likes

Hi Gray!
I just joined this week… and just got diagnosed last week. I thought my story might help. Oh yeah, I’m 34!

I struggled a long time with why things just seemed harder for me than other people. As an engineer a big part of my job is frankly very boring. It seemed like others could just resign themselves to it and slog through… but I never could.

I’ve tried just about every personal development trick under the sun since college. Got really into improvement and optimization. It helped and I wouldn’t undo anything I’ve done but I still felt I was missing something. About 6-8 years ago I started connecting the dots. I started tailoring my personal improvement around ADHD tendencies. Supplements, meditation, keeping a journal, all of it. What can I say, I’m a DIY guy through and through.

It wasn’t enough. Those coping skills worked for a while but I also developed some unhealthy ones. Food, nicotine and way too much caffeine. I recently hit a really hard patch in life and that was the push I needed to get help. I told the people I loved. I don’t know why but I was expecting shame. I had a subconscious belief that I was weak. When I worked up the courage to tell them about going to a Psychiatrist all I got was love and I can’t even explain the relief.

I’m just starting a whole new chapter of my life so I can’t really comment on life after diagnosis. I know I’m still a bit scared and dealing with a mix of grief of not knowing sooner, weakness for not being able to fix myself, but mostly relief that I got over the hump and can start dealing with the things I’ve put off.

I can say that most of my fears were false. I have incredible support. I’m not weak, I have weaknesses. I also have superpowers!

It seems that most adult diagnosis folks had suspicions and end up wishing they’d got help sooner. I’m certainly in that camp. That said, I know the struggle.

Keep faith in knowing that help is always there if you need it, regardless of what path you choose and welcome to the club!

4 Likes

@Gray

You know what?

You are a part of this community. No initiation, dues, or probationary period. It just happens. Welcome!

For me it’s been 16 days here . . . But my life with ADHD. Confirming the diagnosis over 20 years ago. My first reaction was to say to my wife (with tears rolling down): “Now I think I understand why everything has been so hard all these years!”

I look forward to hearing more you . . .

Barry from Brooklyn

2 Likes

Hey, great post! Glad you found help!

I’m an engineer as well(24yo) and am looking to switch jobs. I’d love to learn a little more about your experiences with your engineering jobs. If you’ve had multiple jobs, were some workplaces better suited for you? And if so, what aspects of them made them better?

For context, I currently work in a very large company but think that a smaller, more dynamic, start-up-ish company would better suit me.

Thanks!

1 Like

@cshan

I’m on this forum for me who has ADHD. While I’m not an engineer, my 42 y.o. ADHD son is an electrical engineer. While he is not likely to be interested in this forum, I can say a little about his work experience.

He graduated as a computer engineer CE). In retrospect, he regretted not studying electrical engineering (EE) while in school. He excelled in math and EE required more math courses than CE. Immediately out of school he got a job with a small family owned electrical engineering firm. He worked, hands-on in the field on high voltage equipment. He never wanted an office-type job . . . Would have bored him to death. His major dissatisfaction with this first job was the “incompetence” of some of the other engineers. He often solved problems and helped older guys with many more years of field experience. Office “politics”; “poor decision making”; and a highly chaotic work scheduling process were the negatives for him. He left on good terms for another EE job. In fact, his first employer kept in touch, asking him to return.

He now works for EATON (www.eaton.com). Huge, multi-national, with a corporate model / atmosphere. He works 100% in the field, alone at times or with other Eaton EEs.

He works “crazy” and varied hours, including some week-ends and holidays. Has a company, full-size Chevy pick-up.

He enjoys problem solving and is very good at it.

While in the past he took Ritalin, he stopped. Didn’t want to deal with random drug testing and the need to both reveal and explain his ADHD. When he took meds it was easy for my wife and I to know when he took the meds or not. Change in frustration tolerance, impulse control, etc.

My son was diagnosed when 6 years old. He was the “wild man” in pre-K.

I could keep going, but rather than do that, if you have any specific questions that I might be able to answer . . . just let me know.

Barry

2 Likes

Whether or not you have a diagnosis, the tips can be super helpful. It’s great that you found the channel and can relate. Feel free to use these forums for support and to get other tips and advice. If you do decide to pursue treatment down the road, there’s lots of great information here on how to do that and also what to expect. Welcome, and good luck!

2 Likes

@Brooklyn

Thank you, that really means a lot to me. I teared up when I read this. I haven’t felt like I ‘belonged’ to much of anything my whole life. But the more I read and learn about ADHD the more I feel like I understand, and I’m actually feeling a little better for the first time in a long time.

Thank you again for the warm welcome Barry, I look forward to being here :slight_smile:

1 Like

@Gray

Gray

Glad you plan to stick around! Being here for me is a win win. I get support and I can give support. I’m a retired social worker, used to helping people with all sorts of issues. It took me more than a year to come out of a funk after retiring. I felt aimless, useless, and without purpose. But now four years later things are much better. I do various types of volunteer work. It restores a sense of purpose to my day to day life. So thank you too.

Barry

2 Likes

@quietlylost

Thank you so much. I’m really blown away by how welcoming everyone is. It’s new for me, and I’m so grateful. I hope at some point I’ll be ready for treatment. In the meantime I’m really glad to meet everybody

1 Like

@Pat

Thank you for the welcome. It’s really nice to talk to other adults who are going through simmular situations.

My family isn’t supportive. I never imagined meeting people here who are so welcoming, and I really do appreciate it. I’ve teared up a lot over reading everyones comments. Thank you :slight_smile:

1 Like

Thanks for the reply! The bored to death in an office job is similar to my situation right now. I’m glad he was able to find a job that suited him. That type of problem-solving and variability aspects of his work are the types of things I’m looking for.

1 Like

@cshan

What type of engineer are you?

1 Like

Biomedical Engineering, working in medical device development

1 Like

@cshan

Cool.

Thanks!

1 Like

Hi I’m 39 have adhd since I was a kid, I’m new here trying to have moral support. No seems to understand. I’m CNA and it took me till 39 to figure out my life holy crap it’s just nuts. Living life at the seat of my pants and navigation threw life and work force is so much harder to get pay raises or jobs

2 Likes

Hey, @aeckert! Feel free to post your own intro thread as well!

I was diagnosed about … gosh. Two years ago in June? July? Yeah. Was 33. Started meds on my 34th birthday. (Best Bday gift EVER)

Jobs like the CNA or other medical/Emergency Services jobs are common in the ADHD world. Lots of pressure and time crunch to drive motivation and such. Don’t forget to self care though! If you get a break (and the docs actually let you take it…) make sure to “destim” or “Spin down”, just go take a walk, take a nap, something that is not massive stimulation visually or mentally. It will help the rest of the day go smoother. :smiley:

Welcome!

2 Likes

Welcome!

This forum is sooooooo great! I come here daily. I have ADHD (as does my adult son and one of his daughters, age 11). A retired social worker, I feel good giving support to others. And by doing so get so much in return. At first retirement sucked! But not now. I also drive people who need transportation, to and from doctors’ appointments, take them food shopping, or to the gym (Etc.) as a volunteer for Interfaith Caregivers, a non-profit, community assistance program in my town. Been doing that for 4 years since retiring.

QUES: CNA = Certified Nursing Assistant?

Glad you joined us . . . Hope to see you here whenever you get the “impulse”:exclamation::sunglasses:

2 Likes

I know what you mean. My last two jobs I worked at around 5 years each, and both times I was taken advantage of in a big way (usually involving me not getting paid what I should have). It can get really discouraging. Glad to talk to someone who understands :slight_smile:

1 Like

Thanks! I’ve been through a pretty rough time in the last few months, so I don’t really know how to express how thankful I am that everyone here has been so welcoming :blush:

I’ve been curious about a better job or career for us, or I guess one that is more common for us to be in? This is really helpful, thank you! I’m currently looking for work and getting a little crazy from the non-feedback from employers ^^’

1 Like