Hi there. I’m new here, obviously. I’m not the best with introductions so let me jsut jump right in.
My name is Jamie. I’m seventeen and will be eighteen in september. I go to a classical charter school and this coming school year i will be in 11th grade. I could techinally have graduated this year but i was held back twice; once in first grade and another in second grade. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD since probably around the first grade -the first-first grade :’)- and have been taking medication since. One problem with being diagnosed so early in life the risk that you don’t know as much as you can about the topic bc when you are diagnosed you aren’t quite sure what it all means. So most of my life i think I associated my ADHD as the thing that made me kind og hyper and harder to focus (bc i could tell from a very young age just how well my meds actually helped-i guess I’m really fortunate for me to have actually found a medication that works, something that i didn’t even know about until recently was that ADHD medication can have a lot of bad reactions to different people. I want to count myself fortunate in that regard). Oops I’m getting side tracked. Where am I? Oh yes. I didn’t truely understand until recently that ADHD is the cause of a lot more than just my ability to remain calm and not bounce around or that made me a lot more hyper than other kids when I ate a lot of sugar (okay the sugar thing is controversial ans i want to ask about that in another post) but this year I really wanted to try and buckle down and actually do my home work on time. Be able to sit down and complete it and not get distracted with social media or anything like that. To keep my priorities straight.
Which for the record I have given myself this pep talk for as long as i can remember. Every school year (even in Grammer school) i was like this is it. This is the yesr I will not fall behind. That i will stay focused. That i won’t procrastinate. That i will priorities. Bc I actually really value education. In spite of how much of a pain it is. I know that its incredibly powerful.
I have a memory of my in sixth grade sitting on my I pad and my mom came in and asked me if i had started on my home work and i proceeded to explain to her that I was trying to make a list on what homework i needed to do on this drawing app i used to use. I remember trying ti make it look so good. And I knew that it wasn’t i was supposed to be doing but I was doing it anyway.
I don’t think I realized it was my ADHD. I can’t exactly recall how I thought about certain things before i understood that they were caused by my condition.
I don’t think it registered in my brain until this past year that the reason i half to write every little thing down to the point where my daytimer is filled in almost entirely for each day. The reason why I have te thousand stickly notes and probably ly over 30 notes on my phone for random scattered thoughts. That that was my adhd. Not just that but coming to realization that i even do those things. I don’t think i realized how much I zone out. I am aware that i have always had a listening problem bc i have accomodations on tests at school ( I generally take two to three times as long to finish any test) but i didn’t realize how little of conversations i actually take away. I’ve realized almost every time my mom says something i actually did not come out knowing anything about what she just said.
Okay I’m getting tired. Which is too bad bc I was trying to drive home a point here. The point that i am also currently really struggling with not understanding what is my ADHD and what is really just me being…well…not good? Lazy? Selfish? Egotistical?
Ugh. I want to keep going but I’m so tired. But I think I will try and discuss my wories in another discussion soon.
Until then if you gize could just drop a few bits of encouragement my way on being able to complete the task i feel like i have been so bad at procrastinating on that would be such a help.
Thank you all for listening to my crazy ramble and I hope to get to know a lot of you gize better and be able to bond I’ve our weirdness lol.