help, i can’t do laundry

guys. i can’t do my own laundry.

i have never ever, not ONCE in my life, finished doing my laundry all the way. ever.

at the most, i’ve gotten it all washed, but it stays in a pile on my floor until it gets dirty again.

or i’ll get motivated and do one load, but they stay in the dryer until i pull each item out to wear individually.

how do you guys do it, my
clothes are everywhere and dirty all the time. it’s a snowball affect & i can’t keep my house clean unless my laundry is clean and put away. “clean” right now means throwing all my clothes in like 6 different dirty hampers.

i’m getting married in march too & i want to be a good wifey and wash my husbands clothes for him too, but how am i gonna do that if i can’t wash my own?! i need strategies & to figure it out now before i get married! he doesn’t do his laundry well either :joy::sob:

HELP!! (also how do i make myself lift my cats litter everyday?)


sorry to hear that! I got a washer/dryer. So if I forget to take the load off the machine - like it happens literally all the time - it won’t really matter.
It’s probably expensive to do that, but before I used to build a schedule that allowed me to do stuff while the machine was washing so I know that that day I’d load the machine, then do dishes, the vacuum, then take the load off the machine, then go on with my life. It’s really hard but it’s the only way I could do it, to build bulks of processes beforehand that work together in order to get to do stuff.
Another example, I knew I had to workout at the gym, but I couldn’t leave that randomly, so I established a weekly routine so that I go everyday. This way if I skip one day because I overslept or whatever, it’s not that big of a deal. Most weeks I’ll go 4 or 5 days and that means a reward for me - I’ll get ice cream on the weekend or pizza or something.
But the point is, I find building efficient routines is not only desirable for me, I need them to work as a proper human being. Might be boring but improvising, ugh, been there and it’s ugly. I’ll save improvising to when I’m playing the piano :smiley:
All the best for you


I was skimming through your post when I saw the word piano…had a mini-SQUIRREL moment :joy:

When getting ready for bed, I turn the washing machine on, and then I shower, brush my teeth, etc. By the time I’m done the load has finished and I can put it in the dryer ( i take a long time :sweat_smile: )
I’ve found it helpful to turn on a show or something and just zone out while folding clothes. I definitely need a reminder though.
Maybe you could put your future husband’s ( is that the correct term? ) laundry in a separate hamper. That way the loads are smaller and you don’t have to get everything done at once. Hope that helps :grin:


I don’t get why getting married changes how the washing gets done?

If husband to be is good at getting his laundry done, why would you want to break a process that’s working?

Maybe a more practical plan would be to bundle tasks according to strengths. The stuff you do brilliantly, you might be able to scale up and do for two people (applies to both of you). Surely the point is to carve extra time somewhere that you can spend together, rather than create a miserable downward spiral based on wishful but unrealistic thinking?


we don’t live together right now. his room is a disaster of laundry everywhere because he doesn’t do his either. i have never successfully done mine. when we get married, i’m afraid i will drown in dirty clothes & stressed because of it constantly. my therapist is currently working on me with laundry lol


also i’m hoping TO CHANGE how it gets done before we get married, so that i have a routine down and am always doing laundry/putting my clothes away. so that we don’t drown in dirty laundry

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Sometimes when I can’t change who or how I am, I change the world around me instead.

For example, I’m having a real hard time getting up in the morning.
I might turn off the alarmclock and not even remember I did that it when i finally wake up.

So I decided to put the alarmclock in the shower.
So when it goes off, I actually have to step into the shower to turn it off… And then it’s not a giant step to actually turn on the water…

The combo washer/dryer seems a great idea!
No more clothes that needs rewashing for being wet for too long and still in the machine.


Huh, that’s brilliant!! I always set 3 alarms instead ( which inevitably wakes up someone else :sweat_smile: )


This might sound counter-intuitive and it might not work for everyone. Also it doesn’t completely solve things lol. But it helps.

I added an extra step to laundry. Many years ago, I would constantly feel kinda frumpy. I was just entering my 20’s so I was having a phase where I really cared about looking put-together and adult. So I would be sure my laundry looked pressed and wrinkle-free. I knew people probably wouldn’t notice, but it made me feel better.

You don’t actually have to iron, just lay them flat while they’re warm and let them cool that way. Adding that extra little thing that I cared about helped with motivation and attached some positive/fulfilling feelings to doing the laundry. It’s kinda a cycle- because I put more effort into it, I cared a little more about it and so I made even more of an effort. I can successfully use a hamper now, lol. Also, all my bath towels are so fluffy and dreamy. It’s so, so nice. I didn’t even know I enjoyed things like that. After struggling with laundry for so long, it feels like such a luxury lol.

Maybe pressed laundry isn’t your thing though. I heard that there’s these big ole felt balls (they’re adorable, they look like round little laundry clouds) you can put essential oils in to make your laundry smell nice and take away static? I bet you could get different oils and make a personal blend, if you’re into that. Other people make their own laundry soap. It’s whatever floats your boat.


Ah, it makes more sense to me now :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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Ok idea: what if half-assing something was getting it done? Like you and your husband could work out a deal where you start the laundry and move it to the dryer and just when you forget or lose interest or whatever, he can swoop in and finish the job. I mean I guess this would only work if you have a cooperative partner who is ok with the (in my opinion) much more boring task of taking the clothes out of the dryer and sorting/ folding them.


I set alarms on my phone with labels e.g. put laundry on, hang out, take in, etc. It’s been quite useful. I often set back-up alarms in case I absent-mindedly switch them off, too.


Hi, it’s ok we forget to do many things :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
Since I got married, I had to start being more organised in my life.
We have both a washing machine and a dryer.
When the washing machine finishes it makes a sound then I place the stuff in the dryer and hang the other sensitive stuff at once, cause I know with my personality that it’s now or never.
I also some times make an alarm in my mobile and snooze it not to forget about the things in the washing machine.
I try to do all the laundry in 1 or 2 days not to get bored.
Once the stuff is dry, I place them all in my bed, either I try to Fold it at once or as usual my mind go everywhere but the stuff is in my bed and I or my husband have to do it before sleeping.
It might help to make a rule for your self (why do you want to finish your laundry on time?), or set a timer with an alarm for how long it usually takes for the laundry to be finished.
Your target is to have a more organised home, clean laundry to where (better not to be smelly ;-), make yourself and partner happy and yaay relieved.
Congrats for your sooooon marriage

Good luck with your laundry :slight_smile:


Biggest thing that helped me not drown in laundry was less clothes… that way the maximum full the laundry basket can get doesn’t look so overwhelming. It also means I cant procrastinate too long; I HAVE to do the laundry… there’s literally nothing else to wear. It also made decisions easier of what to wear in the morning etc too… I also make bargains with myself to help me declutter, eg: I can buy that nice new top, but I have to drop off say, 3 tops in the clothing bin ON MY WAY to buy it… this also helps stop impulse buys too… :slight_smile: I also find the tip from other above about folding in front of the TV really helps too!!


If it cannot be solved with some of the strategies above, consider paying for it. It will lift the burden from you completely; and replace it with the burdern of paying for it. However, this may be well worth it in terms of reduced anxiety, marital happiness etc. If necessary, do a couple hours more paid work in your regular job to pay for it. Society is organised so that we do not have to learn every skill and do every task needful for living so why should you force yourself to do laundry any more than fix your own car or grow your own food or police your own neighbourhood? We get mechanics to fix our cars, pay farmers and stores to get us our food and pay for other people to become police officers. Trained people who do stuff all the time are better and faster at it anyway. Good luck!


Literally used to be the biggest problem for me and my partner. Doesnt help he wears like 4 to 5 layers of clothing nearly everyday and I already hate laundry. Helps me to do it as soon as I wake up and have coffee brush my teeth, make his lunch, start a load of laundry. Creating a routine and sticking to it is hard for me, but if I can at least get the most important stuff done through the day it makes me more motivated to continue it. I’m easily distracted and always procrastinate but helps me to remember how my partner will feel if it isnt done…waiting for your work clothes to dry in the morning, possibly being late is definitely going to start an argument and make me feel like crap because it’s such a simple thing right? I love my sleep and if I have to set an alarm at 3 am to wake up and move the clothes to dryer I’m going to hate myself lol.

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I really thought I wrote this post…sounds just like me. I am a single dad of 3 kids 2, 5, and 7. I am really good about doing the laundry as far as washing and drying goes, but then its usually in a pile or basket on my washroom floor…forever… I found what helps the most with me at least washing and drying is using google assistant to set reminders for me, I have a google home in my living room, and a home mini in the bathroom/washroom and its also in my phone. I can just say, “Hey google, remind me to put the clothes in the dryer in X min.” it helps a lot.

I still need to find a way to actually fold and sort all the clothes…


Somewhere on this forum is an amazing, beautiful post about how someone did laundry with their kids, which involved a lot of fun chucking the clothes at each other until each kid had a pile of their own stuff.

If anyone can find it and link it from here you should read it, something in it might help :grinning:

Edited to add:

It’s here, fourth post down. It’s quite long but it gets to the laundry fairly quickly.


I like to make a phone call while I do boring house work.

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Hahaha, if I did that I would really get hardly any of the boring job done at all😂