Hey all

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anxiety

#1

Hi guys! I’m a 29 year old woman living in the northern suburbs of the Minneapolis area with my kitty and fiance! This may get a little heavy here, just warning, but I really want to just get all this off my chest and feel better for a bit.

First off, let me say that I’m not exactly “new” to this whole ADHD thing. I’ve been diagnosed informally once about 10 years ago, and formally (with that annoying computer test) about two years ago with moderate ADHD-Combined. I’ve been on and off meds and in and out of counselors offices for a long time, and constantly searching for why I felt so inadequate, so self defeating, so ashamed of being me and comparing myself to others. For years and years, since I was in middle school, I never trusted myself to do anything right. I hated being around people, hated my career, hated being in my own head sometimes, where the negative thoughts swirled and tried to make b\me believe that they were true.

Then, in the grips of stress-induced anxiety about my relationship with my then-boyfriend, I watched a video called “ADHD and Relationships: Let’s Be Honest”. I immediately broke down and realized that she understood. And there was a whole community out there that did as well. Reading the comments on all Jessica’s videos made me realize that there were a whole bunch of people like me that were going through the same struggles that I was. But still, I held back from actually saying anything, contenting myself to lurk and read comments and watch YouTube videos but not actually do any of the things that could help with my ADHD.

Now, I’m not going to anymore.

So, hi everyone! I hope to glean some knowledge, laughter, self-confidence, and maybe some new friends or gaming buddies from this community. I want to focus on myself and making myself better in a way that I haven’t been doing for what feels like my whole life, and I want my soon-to-be-husband to see the happy, awesome person that I know I can be.


#2

Hello Kizith and welcome!

ANOTHER KITTY MOM. YAYYYY! :heart: And getting heavy here is just fine - it’s one of the various reasons we’re here. Sometimes offloading helps us just enough to get through the day or through a particularly rough patch.

I’m glad you made it here! :heart: We are so happy to have you. :grin: ALSO GAMING? What games do you play?! I’m a really crappy gaming partner but I will totally talk games!


#3

For board games, I LOVE cooperative games like Betrayal at House on the Hill and Zombicide. Also am big into deckbuilders like Legendary or Star Realms. My fiance and his dad used to own a game store, which I where I kinda fell into that world, so I’m always up for learning new games, though I tend to gwet a bit salty when things don’t go well for me :confounded:

TCGs…well, it’s mostly Magic: the Gathering, which I used to be more hardcore into but now mostly play casually with friends whenever the opportunity presents itself. My fiance and I (Well mostly him :slight_smile:) build decks pretty frequently, and they usually end up being pretty crazy and not conforming to the general meta at the time!

As for video games, I love me some platformers and adventure games! I am a huge Zelda fan, and love going back and replaying the Sly Cooper series. I am looking forward to getting the new Spyro trilogy since I’ve never played them before. I also like open world adventure games like the new Tomb Raider trilogy and especially the Assassin’s Creed series! Currently working my way to hopefully 100%ing AC: Odyssey at the moment.
I also play coop competitive MOBA games (mostly Heroes of the Storm) with my fiance and his friends when they are around. We both share a love for World of Warcraft, although he’s a bit more of an old hand than I am, having raided in Vanilla WoW back in like '04 while I only started in Wrath of the Lich King back in about '08. That and I played Alliance, he played Horde :wink:

Oh, here’s our boy! His name is Heimdall and yes, he’s enormous! Being a Siberian and almost 20 pounds will do that :slight_smile: We’re currently waiting for his breeder to raise his brother up for adoption in a few weeks; so exciting!
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#4

Oohhhh! That’s really cool about your fiance and his Dad! And don’t feel too bad. I’m a pretty competitive person and get very salty very quickly about losing. I’ve learned to mask it decently but I take so much of it personally. :sweat_smile: And if I feel I’m getting ganged up on I get even angrier. I’ve had this problem since I was a small little child - my parents actually took games away for a while until I could learn to play without being a spoiled sport about it. All it did was teach me how to mask it :sweat_smile: Oops?

Your fiance and my boyfriend sound like they would get along well :joy: If my boyfriend got his hands on cards against he’d probably build a deck that is just so far away from the general META that you just stare at him like how did you come up with this and why does it even remotely work? :joy: Gotta love the creativity they have, eh?

I’m so behind on the AC series. I never got into it - or well, I was into the story for the first few games, but I could not bring myself to be patient while learning the controls. I tried it on PC but of course the PC controls are super confusing… and at the time I didn’t have a controller that liked me so I’d screw up pickpockets and sneaking ALL THE TIME. So I gave up until this year where I almost finished AC1 :joy: Then I got distracted by xcom 2 cause of course I did.

I used to do MOBAs! Mostly League of Legends. Never going back to that blackhole again. I finally pulled myself out. :joy: I do semi miss MOBAs though. But I really liked what League was mostly like 8 years ago. The bigger they got the more they started changing things regularly and the more they added more champions and the more they kept changing for each new season and I just hated it. I hate change that changes right after I FINALLY get good with the last change. So I gave up. Which is fine. The community was wickedly caustic anyway. Used to play WoW too! I was a panda baby :joy: So needless to say I miss the better days of WoW. Druid healer. With a tank who used to raid through vanilla through to Lich King (aka: my boyfriend). BOY DID I LEARN HOW TO KEEP HIM ALIVE VERY QUICKLY. Bahahahaha. Unfortunately though the storyline of WoD annoyed even me, the newbie, and I felt was just very poorly executed cause … time travel ALWAYS screws everything up. It takes a lot of time, effort and creativity and polish to make time travel plots work out nicely. In my opinion, anyway! Then Legion I was interested in but the never ending grind for like… everything… killed me. The only thing keeping me going was Illidan’s story and history and all of that. But the moment I finished out Illidan’s story I was just… done. I even bought the new expansion but… I pre-ordered and was hyped WAY TOO SOON. So by the time it came around my brain had already moved on D: #MyADHDStruggles But I really loved healing! Like REALLY loved healing. I still love it, to be honest. I’M A HEALER AT HEART. HOTs. HOTs EVERYWHERE.

AND HEIMDALL IS SO FABULOUS AND FLUFFY AND AMAZING AND LOOKS SO SOFT.


This is my boy Carson whoooo was not thrilled I was making him take a picture in a small party hat for my mom :joy:


#5

OMIGOSH DRUIDS YES. David (my fiance) is a bear tank and I love him for it, even though he pulled too fast mostly all the time… :stuck_out_tongue: My main was a Draenei Hunter, and even though I wasn’t in a raiding guild or anything, I still loved going through PvE encounters with my giant Devilsaur wrecking everything because Beast Mastery is fun, even if it wasn’t the “top DPS” spec. And I ONLY pet pulled the whole dungeon ONCE back in Serpentshrine Caverns… Do miss Volley and Eyes of the Beast messing around in Halls of Reflection back in Wrath though…
Anyways, yeah, I was a Wrath baby, joined right at the beginning and made it to the endgame 5 mans before I just went eeehhhh and went on hiatus until Cata. I actually liked Cata at the beginning, preordered the collector’s edition and all that before getting bored once I hit 85 and taking a much longer break. Until I was dragged back in late last year for a few months of WoD and the beginning of Legion, but I kinda grew bored of the grind and my ADD brain moved on to something else.

Yeah, creativity is awesome, especially in Magic deckbuilding! It’s to the point where he makes a deck and everyone rolls their eyes and goes, “yep, that’s definitely a deck you you come up with.”

Oh man, if you have troubles with AC controls, I feel ya, but hold out because the controls really do refine over the series. Except when they switch buttons on you in Origins and you constantly keep pulling up the map or something because you are used to hitting R1 for sneaking constantly… grumblegrumble If you can invest in a PS4 controller and just hook it up to your PC; it’s what I do and to be honest I really barely touch our console anymore because I’m already on my PC most of the day anyways and Steam is just so convenient.

Ahh, Carson reminds me of Heimie’s aunties that live with my mom and stepdad!They are also black and white/tuxedo. Though, like most cats, I think they’d rather be dead than have a bow put on them :wink:


#6

BAHAHAHA pulling too fast is how I got taught as a healer. :joy: When his other friend was running us through LFR as the main tank, he was shocked that he got to the next section before everyone else… but I was directly behind him. He was a monk. He was fast. I was a kitty. I also was fast. It was HILARIOUS. Because he’d do that in LFR just to mess with us, but he learned real quick that he wouldn’t be able to shake me because I learned two things: 1. MANA CONSERVATION. DEAR GOD. MANA. CONSERVATION. and 2. Follow. Your. Tank.

BAHAHAHAHAHA. Pet pulls crack me up the first time they happened. Any time I ran something with a pet I would always forget to dismiss. :joy: I’d jump down then scream “OH GOD I F’D UP.” in chat… which the team appreciated cause at least they knew what was coming. :joy:

I really wish I could’ve been there for Lich King and Cata. They sounded like AMAZING challenges. And I love the mechanics for both eras and just UGH. I’m so sad I got into gaming later in life. I actually hated WoW because a friend of mine who I trusted and talked to a lot completely disappeared and left me hanging… and came to find out she was playing WoW… so it gave me a bias against the game. But after a few years and getting some friends who were willing to teach me, I got into it. :sweat_smile:

I did figure out the AC controls! I just had to find a controller I couldn’t mess up with. Playstation controllers hurt my hand. Logitech was okay but not great. So I finally used an xbox controller and that worked out really well for me. So we have… literally all three of those USB controllers. :sweat_smile: We have a controller hoarding problem. Had a SteelSEries one too, once. Great grip but… too many glitches. Sadly. BUT YES. I’m mostly on steam as well though we just got a PS4 for the PS4 exclusive games. But honestly I use the PS4 mostly for tV :joy:

I love tuxedos :heart: My sister’s cat was a tuxedo and my first cat was a tuxedo… so when I had to say goodbye to my first cat, I found Carson and just fell in loooooove. ALTHOUGH HILARIOUSLY HE DOESN’T MIND HIS BOWTIE. He hates hats. But bowties? Nah, they cool. If you scroll through the instragram you’ll see he has it on in most of the pictures in the last year. And it was on 24/7. We did finally take it off though after he had an episode of cluster seizures. Well we took off the collar. We haven’t put it back on yet. :sweat_smile: And he hasn’t had a seizure since. But that’s a whole other story. BUT YEAH Carson is like… my soulcat. Except for this morning. Where he was very adament about being in my face and wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer like he usually does. :joy: