Heart here. I’m so thankful to have found the How to ADHD channel and this community.
I started watching the How to ADHD channel almost by accident, and slowly recognized that this sounded a LOT like my husband and what he’s been struggling with. We’ve watched several of the videos together and he’s just made his first appointment to start getting tested.
The reason I’m here is, this has been an emotional journey, for both of us. And I’m hoping to maybe gather some stories from some of you lovely brains who can relate and any words of encouragement you can give.
I don’t want to air his whole life story on the internet, but for some context…
My husband was technically kind of diagnosed when he was in middle school. Basically, he didn’t do his homework, didn’t take notes, but still did very well on tests (at least in the subjects he was interested in) and his teachers didn’t know what to do with him so his family doc put him on some meds hoping that would “fix” the issue. It was all about making it easier on the teachers, not him. I’m sure some of you can relate.
The meds made him feel bad. They adjusted them a few times, but it didn’t help and so eventually, he stopped taking them. And it was assumed that he didn’t actually have ADHD or grew out of it. It sounds like things were left pretty inconclusive.
No evaluations were done. No therapists or psychiatrists. Just a GP, some pills and some pretty detrimental “accomodations” like letting him turn in all of his homework for the whole year at finals. From what I understand, this is probably the least helpful thing they could have done. Talk about overwhelm.
Now he’s in his early 30s and realizing that it was proably ADHD all along. He’s feeling the weight of all that time where he could have had the help he needed. And all the struggles with work and school and just… life.
I have so many questions for you all. But most important are - First, do any of you have a similar story? What has helped you? I’d love to be able to compile some comments and show him some stories of other people to show that he’s not alone.
And second, what do you wish your partner knew or understood? We’ve just naturally found some accommodations without even knowing it was ADHD (self bagging garbage can anyone?) And now that I know what’s going on its a lot easier to laugh at the little piles of folded laundry around the apartment that never quite get into the closet. But I know there’s more out there. And I want to learn.
Thank you all!