Hi! Young adult investigating ADHD

Hi! My name is Sarah, and I’m a teen who kinda thinks I may have ADHD. I’ve been reading up on it online quite a bit, and I’ve been feeling more and more like this may be something I have. I’m scared though, that maybe I’m somehow being overdramatic, that maybe I’m exaggerating the struggles I’m having. I wouldn’t bother trying to get a diagnosis because I’m unsure, but stuff like executive dysfunction, etc is really making things a struggle. I still live with my parents, and would like to tell them, but the one time I mentioned it to my mom she brushed it off and changed the subject and never brought it up again. I feel like my dad would probably think that I’m being overdramatic… the fact that they had a false alarm when my older brother was young probably doesn’t help things. I don’t know how to get them to get me assessed, nor how we’ d even do it if I convinced them to take me.
I’m also just overall really freaking out because what if I’m just lazy? I used to be a straight A student, tbh, still am, but I feel like I am always working harder than anyone else. And my procrastination is nuts, it’s literally 1 am and I was supposed to have an essay submitted 12 h ago and yet I’ve done N O T H I N G in this 12 h despite sitting in front of my computer with my papers spread around me for basically this entire time! I want to be diagnosed in all honesty, I want to have ADHD, because if I don’t, then the problem is me? At least if I’m diagnosed I could find out the problem and get strategies to fix it?
Also I feel like maybe part of the issue is also that maybe I’ve learned to hide my symptoms well (like many girls, according to my research), so my parents would likely not be able to imagine how similar some of me is to the ADHD profile…

IDK it’s stressful, got any advice or anything?

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Hi!
If you would like to convince your parents maybe doing one of those online ADHD test would help to at least convince them into checking things out for you. Like you could sit down with one or both of your parents and do the quiz, answering each question honestly. This would partly help them to see your struggles without you requiring to esplain things for them, if you understand what I mean.
Checking other options for getting a diagnosis. Maybe your school has a student counciling or some type of authority that you could bring up your concerns and discuss it with them. They could maybe help you find some strategise to help you with your struggles or maybe they could even talk with your parents about it. Maybe if these concern was brought up to them by a third party they would take it more seriously.
I also think you should look in to cooping mechanisms - the toolbox so to say. Try different tools and strategise to see if they help you. And if they do help you, even if it would turn out that you don’t have ADHD, it is something you could still look to consistently apply to your life.
I also get your frustrations with your parents. Like I have ADHD, I have even been put on medication in a roundabout way, despite not having the diagnosis. All the mental health experts I’ve met has confirmed that I have it, but where I live there is a waiting time of 2 years to get that final diagnosis. When I told my dad about it he scoffed and told me that I’m to sensitive and should stop caring what other people think about me. The rest of my family just think that I’m a lazy slob. :expressionless:
A part of me fears that in the end that I won’t have the diagnosis and that it really just is me, but what has helped me is knowing that this seems to be something common for those that are waiting for a diagnosis. I hope you could find some of my ramblings helpful and I hope that you can get the help you need to feel accomplished in your everyday life.

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I might start by asking your parents to let you see a therapist. Once you’ve had a chance to meet with someone you can share with them your concerns and struggles and they can either help diagnose you or at least be an advocate for you with your parents. The therapist could encourage them to get further evaluation or even provide education to them.

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@quietlylost
@Butterkitten

Sound suggestions for you to consider. I would add the following:

  1. Some therapists may dismiss a suggestion of an ADHD Dx. and see things primarily as “emotional” issues. So one must choose a therapist . . . “wisely”! Not that a therapist and therapy might not be helpful but too much emphasis on the “emotional” might be to the neglect of searching out, determining, and addressing ADHD.

  2. You might consider reading a few books and having your parents look at them as well. As far as I am concerned Ed Hallowell, MD is one of the best. He is a psychiatrist who is ADHD.

Good luck and hope things work out for you. And lastly, give your parents time . . . I was a clinical Social Worker in the mental health field (now retired) and it took my wife over a year to convince me to have our son evaluated. He was 4 yrs. old when he was diagnosed with ADHD. Best thing to have happen. We were then able to get him the help he needed. All turned out well . . . but the journey was bumpy and challenging!

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