I’m 37 and was diagnosed with ADD when I was 16. It has made my life a mess for as long as I can remember. I was on medication for a while, but this was no success due to the side effects and my environment’s reaction to it. I’ve been down the road of failure and disappointment forever. Procrastination and disorganization are my main problems, for example I only got my driving license by the age of 36, an extreme matter of procrastination.
I married a “normal” girl, who’s very intelligent. We got this beautiful daughter who’s 9 years old now. She turned out to be very active and intelligent, started reading at the age of 3. Before we knew it, she was 3 years ahead of her classmates. We decided to start homeschooling her (my wife teaches her, not me) because school was way to slow for her. This worked very well for a few years.
Suddenly last year problems started to occur, it became so much harder to get schoolwork done. My wife and daughter got into conflicts on a daily bases and things got out of hand real quick.
By now the situation is terrible. My daughter refuses to do any homeschooling and doesn’t want to go to a regular school either. We are constantly fighting and most of the time each one of us is in a different room, blaming the other. Apart from schooling issues she has all the signs of ADHD.
To me the problem is crystal clear by now, my daughter has ADHD. I’ve seen enough of her behavior to know her problem. I have ADD and my younger brother has ADHD, so does my mom. I so wished she wouldn’t have to face this problem, but I can’t deny it anymore.
The biggest problem is my wife’s reaction. All she want’s is a “normal” kid with “normal” behavior. She doesn’t want any form of therapy, medication, shrinks… No matter how, I can’t convince her. She’d rather have a divorce and never ever see me and our daughter again than having to admit she has ADHD and tell her parents and the rest of the world.
I don’t want a divorce, I love my wife and I know I can’t give my daughter a decent life on my own. I can hardly take care of myself. I don’t want my daughter and wife never to see each other again, it would be the biggest mistake of their life.
I’ve managed to keep my job for 17 years now, I know it’s the best job for me and they pay very good. But the hours are almost impossible to combine with being a single dad. After 10 years of supporting my family with my single income I don’t have the financial security to leave and look for a different job. Besides, I don’t know what I should do, my job now is the only thing I’m good at. I don’t expect much help from my environment either, because I screwed up a lot in the past…
I know things can get better at home, but then we have to face the facts and deal with the ADHD. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’m struggling to keep my family and my life together and feel so bad for all the s**t my daughter and my wife have to go thru. I want to support my daughter in this life long battle, but I’m standing with my back against the wall. We’ve hit rock bottom long ago, but it feels I’m the only one who’s willing to get back up again.