How to Avoid the ADHD Tax: Holiday Edition





Omg, I do or have done all of those things - lots of them in the last week! :flushed:


Yeeees… I might be guilty of all these things.


I did almost all this stuff over the holiday, even after watching the video. However, I did take the advice about knowing when I needed a break from the Holiday stuff. My mom wanted me to help her yesterday with taking down decorations. I told her no. I’d be happy to help pack up this weekend, but not yesterday. I was taking my last day of vacation to do nothing. Boy did she have a fit. She accused me of not wanting to help her. Of only being willing to help her on my time. She hit all the usual notes. I got mad, of course, but I stood my ground. I needed a day to decompress from all the “Holiday Merrymaking” and I was going to take it.


It’s almost like you’re an adult with your own life and your own stresses and your own exhaustion and your own time. :sweat_smile: Glad you stood your ground though! I have to do that sometimes too and it sucks when the other person snaps at you for it - but we know what is best for us. :heart: Usually. :grin:


I know, right? So, her reasoning is, she HAS to take down decorations on NYD because otherwise she feels she’s behind and it won’t ever get done. Yeah, ok, fine, I get that. But, that’s NOT MY PROBLEM. You can choose to take them down any time. I can’t choose to have another vacation day. I feel no obligation to stick to your schedule on this. It’s not a matter of life or death or money. So…chill.

Did I tell you this one? We were wrapping presents together. She didn’t like how I was wrapping mine and started instructing me. I was getting irritated because, seriously, I’ve been wrapping presents for decades. I know how to wrap a present. In fact, I’ve wrapped presents for retail customers. I’m GOOD at wrapping presents. All this ran through my mind, a common defensive feeling when she tells me how to do stuff like I’m a child. Instead I said, “If you can let your 4 year old grandson do things on his own, even if he makes a mistake, you can do the same for your 40 year old daughter.” It startled her into laughing, and then we were both laughing. It felt like a breakthrough, at least on that small thing. :slight_smile:


The irony is that she’s complaining about you helping her on your time, yet she seems to demand you always help her on her time. :sweat_smile: Still glad you stood your ground so you could have your vacation day, I know how precious those are. :heart: And I hope it was a decent vacation day, at the very least!

AND THAT’S NICE. Sort of - the laughing together seems nice. I never did get why people are so critical over non-important things such as gift wrapping. Everyone wraps gifts in their own way… let them. Still glad you guys could laugh over something though - that was a pretty good come back from you! Hopefully the breakthroughs keep coming <3


So it goes with undiagnosed parents…

I sometimes wonder if my mom is more narcissistic than ADHD.