how to deal with call n text?


#1

Hi, brains. I’m new here. thanks to incredible Jessica. and I want to say sorry for my terrible English :slight_smile:

I live in Republic of Korea. I’ve turned 33.
I didn’t even know I’m ADHD.
because my doctor diagnosed I’ve got anxiety disorder and panic disorder and much depression 3 years ago.

I have one more.

ADHD. I was so embrassed but now I’ve got stable.

and here’s my thing.

how do you deal with text and call??

sometimes (maybe always?) I turn on “do not disturb” mode because I don’t want to be distracted.

Sometimes, it turns problem very easily.

my clients complains about this and delay almost everything.

I think I don’t deserve this job and should I quit?
but most of clients like my work. so do I.

I like this job but I’m struggling with it.

My clients say “communication is everything”

I know. I do ! but when I feel terrible about me, I can’t answer. and can’t respond to missed call.

I feel this is one of the obstacles and I want get over.

Happy new year !


#2

Is it possible to have fixed hours when you can answer, and not?


#3

yes it’s possible. and I wait till it feels safe.
but there’s no time to get safe or better. so exhausted.


#4

I feel this is partly a cultural issue and it would be good to give a conservative reaponse


#5

This I understand well. I have some people and some situations where I find it really hard to communicate with text messages or phone calls or messenger or even sometimes I want to respond on here and I just can’t get it done. Even with my meds I am not great at this. But once I get the conversation going I am ok it’s just the initial engagement that I seem to struggle with. I find it has the same feeling when I am talking to a person or in a group and my mind wonders and I just decide that I have had enough of adulting for a little while so I will just end the conversation and go spend some quality time working on my own to reset.

M


#6

Welcome, @han_gyeol!

If I understand correctly, I think you mention three aspects to this problem:

  1. You need to limit when you are available. This is a common problem, probably not just for us brains. Do it, but from a business point of view, you probably need to a) publicise these times in advance (like on your email signature and wherever your contact details are published online.)
    And b) check that your boss and/or main clients can agree with these times. Maybe do these things in reverse order :wink:

  2. You (and loads of the rest of us) have some confidence issues. You are clearly good at the job when you get it done, so perhaps some support on building uo your self confidence woukd help a lot, because it seems the biggest problem may be…

  3. When you feel bad, you don’t return calls. I totally get this, and i do something similar too. But it’s a vicious circle :flushed: As soon as I have missed the first opportunity to contact someone, I feel bad about that, so that makes me delay it even longer. And as I think you know, that doesn’t help!

So yes, the cultural differences may affect some parts of how someone in Europe or the US can help you, but I think your issues are mostly universal to us brains.

By the way, on the self confidence front: your English is good, and I say that as a native speaker and as an English teacher :+1:

Edited to add:

Sorry, i forgot to.say anything constructive about 3.

My coach is helping me to realise that the problem is only going to get worse if I delay longer. But it’s scary! So I have a schedule, and I put these scary things in my schedule, one at a time, so I start to regain some control over these. At the same time as gradually clearing the backlog, I am trying to avoid building up a new backlog.

Having a coach is really helping me. I hope you can also find someone to help you this way.


#7

@Pizzatom52 yes, I know what I should have conversation. sort of. but it feels so terrible at least 10 times for a day


#8

@AMAK this is interesting that I survived. I feel dying when I keep struggling with contact.
after when I get it done, so much dopamine flows on my brain. I feel it clearly.
then what? I do nothing.
can’t do anything on my job.

I totally agree with ur opinion. I need time to reset.
thx for your time :smiley:


#9

@Lustforlife I admire you. I appreciate you, too.
as you said, this is sensitive in my country.
even if when I get sick, they think I have no sense of responsibility.

I know promise matters.
then… shouldn’t I have any promises?
It gets worse.

and there is one biggest problem.

that is… I’m the boss.
thankfully, there’s no employee, haha.

I have to improve this one.

oh, there’s no context in writing.
sorry.

sincerely thank you all.
especially, for your adds, I’ve got comfortable.

I gotta find someone to help me :slight_smile:

here’s another one :

how you regain ur control? I get meds or meditation. this is what I’ve got.
but it dosen’t make me better.