how to make a bully go away?

there’s this girl that likes my boyfriend and she is doing everything she can to piss me off. how do i get her to f**k off?

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If you really want to piss her off in return, act like she doesn’t bother you (as if she’s just a mere annoyance). Be above her petty behavior.

I’m not saying the way your feel is wrong, by any means. You should be pissed off by her behavior.

Feeling jealous towards yours boyfriend is perfectly natural. If you and your boyfriend have a good relationship, then you should want to protect it.

  • Note: ‘Jealous’ means wanting to keep protect what is rightfully yours. (People often mistakenly say ‘jealous’ when they really mean ‘envious’, meaning wanting what rightfully belongs to someone else.)

So, how do you make a bully go away?

Not through threats or force. You have to be willing to stand your ground. (You may need help from allies.) But when I think of good examples from history, the two things that come to mind:

  • How Gandhi led India to independence from the British Empire using dignity and passive resistance. (This model was later used by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the cause to end segregation in America.)
  • How Great Britain stood firm and fought back against Nazi Germany, especially during the Blitz. (Britain took a beating again and again, and did not yield, but fought back. With friends and Allies like America, the war was won, but at a great cost.)

Which tactic to take? I am not able to answer that. Note that Britain was in both of my examples, one as the bully, the other as the bully’s victim.

The common tie I see with all the ultimate winners (India’s independence from Britain, Dr. King and everyone involved in the Civil Rights Movement, Britain’s surviving the Blitz, the Allies winning the war against the Nazis) is something I can sum up with one word… Dignity!

I don’t know all the details in your situation, or with your boyfriend, or with the bully. Whatever course of action you choose, do it with dignity. Don’t stoop to the bully’s level, because that might turn you into a bully, too.

The person who I think ought to be your #1 ally in this situation is your boyfriend. He should make it clear that you and he are together, not just telling you this, but making this fact clear to those around you. The simplest thing he can do is to make sure the bully knows this. Best case, he does this in front of you and everyone else. (What he shouldn’t do is to talk to her privately, because then he opens himself up to her attempts to influence him.)

  • Don’t try to be mean or harsh or crass about it, just firm.
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