Howdy from Ireland! 🇮🇪

:raised_hand_with_fingers_splayed: Hi everyone! I’m 32 and I’m from Ireland. I literally just got back from my Doctor. I shared my ADHD concerns, and hopefully will have a referral to a specialist shortly.

A good college friend of mine found out over the holidays that they had been diagnosed with ADHD when they were young. It seems the family didn’t act on it and the diagnosis was forgotten about.

When I heard this story and looked into ADHD myself, and the penny dropped. My whole life I’ve been pushing at an invisible wall, trying to swim with stone boots. In school I was frustrated with homework, in college I had tremendous trouble with deadlines, I almost lost my last job (Which I quit) and my current job (Which I love) is now in jeopardy. There are too many specific elements of my life to mention. ADHD would explain why I would pull over on the way home from work in tears, racking my brains to why I couldn’t improve, succeed or excel. Anyone who know’s me well enough will tell you I’m unbelievably talented, but these compliments have always seemed empty and meaningless to me. Like what’s the point of talent if I am unable to use it?

I’m a mixed bag at the moment of sadness, anger, and unusual focus to try and get help. However, my main reaction has been excitement at this possible diagnosis. I cannot even yet imagine what it is like to be able to focus and work purposefully towards completing my goals. To plan my life, to make my mad notions into reality. It feels liberating to know there might be a possibility that I’m not lazy or have a bad work ethic.

As I don’t yet have a formal diagnosis I’m very aware of not jumping the gun, but so far it explains my whole life. I have a wonderful partner and incredible one and half year old son and I can’t let myself be hindered any longer.

Looking forward to chatting and getting to know everyone.

Will :v:

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Welcome aboard . . .

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Sweet pic! Which castle is that?

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I have no idea!

Found the pic on the www. Perhaps somewhere in your neck of the woods . . .

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image

Now I do know that this is Ireland. My son took the picture not too long ago when he was there.

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Making mad notions into reality is the only ambition worthy of the name. Go go go!
An excellent student play I saw at Trinity College Dublin had this line in it ‘Just be yourself. And if you can’t be yourself, be someone else!’ . It makes sense if you try it.

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Hi Will!

I totally hear you. I Just got my diagnosis this week and honestly it felt like this cloud that was looming over my head my whole life had cleared out. I’ve had the same problems as you. Almost got fired from my last job so I quit instead. I went to the UK to do my masters but I ended up failing out which pushed me into depression and so much self-loathing. But I am in the process of doing a second masters (online) now while I receive help for my ADHD so I hope things will be different this time around.

Oh and I am (hopefully) moving to Ireland next year and my first priority would be finding a counselor/therapist because that’s the only way I would be able to survive in another country on my own.

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Hi, Will! Welcome to the Brain Train! I absolutely get the mess of emotions and the feeling of hope from getting a diagnosis while also feeling overwhelmed at changing your life. I was diagnosed about 8 years ago and I still get overwhelmed by it all. For the past few weeks my focus and motivation have been worse than usual and it’s been REALLY frustrating.

I think one thing that’s always worked for me, and I’ve only recently realized it works for me, is to find the little things that capture your attention and interest, then do those things as much as possible. I love writing fiction and poetry, but while I have big ideas for novels, actually writing novels overwhelms me and I either never start or I write a couple of chapters and then give up. Last year I started a daily writing exercise first thing in the morning where I write one paragraph–not part of any larger story, just a few sentences or more of some scene that could be part of a larger story, or not. But it got me into the habit of writing without feeling like I have to have a big plan. Lately I’ve been expanding that to write slightly longer pieces, maybe just half a page to a couple of pages, that could be part of a larger story but don’t have to. At work, I’ve talked with my managers about keeping me off long-term projects (and not letting me do big projects unless I have at least one other person working with me) but giving me small things to work on (with flexible deadlines).

A big part of all of this is advocating for yourself, which I don’t think is easy for people like us because we’re so used to feeling like we’re messing up and it’s all because we’re stupid or lazy or inconsiderate or oversensitive. But I’ve gotten better at advocating for myself–which includes advocating for myself TO myself, because I’m usually the first person to get upset with me for not living up to a neurotypical ideal.

I don’t know if any of this helps. I just hope you know that you’re not alone, you’re not broken, and you can definitely learn to live better with ADHD.

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