I am losing the love of my life

#1

I am tired of my infinite contradictions.
I have met my boyfriend online and met irl and fell so much in love it was magical I felt home as he did too I was attracted to him and also purely love him after a year and about 3 months I started to lose interest but still loved him so much I started to feel like he was my brother or my son and we talked about it and he tried and always try hard for me until I started to crush on other guys I couldn’t tell him but then I just said he deserves better and asked him to breakup with me and it was very sad because I was hurting him and I was just pushing away the love of my life and he gets hurt every time I don’t know what to do

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#2

Emotions change in a relationship. Hard to give advice, but maybe try to figure out what is good for you and what is not. Sum it up. Maybe it is what you need or maybe it is not the love of you life. But it is not about you or him deserving better. But about if it works for you both or not.

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#3

I have a YouTube playlist for this I kid u not it’s all about the psychology of love :heart:. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA-N8XorAJX_aZBV8P3RdQzuyLVyVrwfY Also if I had to guess I think u just moved out of the crush stage into the love stage and miss took the decrease in hyperfocuse and Dopamine for A lack of attraction. You see 80 HD brains are hardwired to look for dopamine fixes and crashes and loves give us that especially the first few months. But slowly and surely the reactions we get from them I’m not a tie because we moved into the love stage a more stable caring compassionate intimate relation. But It’s not as roller coasterie It’s like a comfortable peaceful stable ride. Which is a lot like family the feeling that they’re always there for you and I mean a lot. I think you’re confusing the dopamine high and the roller coaster of a crush for love. The second option is you might be addicted to the high of the crush. If that’s the case I don’t know exactly what to do but my best guess is to rework ur mental framing of ur relationship to value steady love over crazy crush.

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#4

https://youtu.be/XbyN8REIhMk Check out Jessica’s video

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#5

I can only speak to my own experience, but I love my wife very much. But I have crushes all the time. I decided not to act on them because it would hurt my wife and I love her. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have crushes all the time. It’s just the brain trying to find new exciting things, but it doesn’t mean those are love. And even if they are (I have a few), I decide to love them like family, like sisters, like I do with all my closest friends. If I fall in love with/ have a crush, obviously they’re good people, so make them close friends, but don’t DO anything with them. And if you’re that convinced you genuinely love your boyfriend, it’s possible that you’re just experiencing the first drop of dopamine. There’s usually one after 9 months, one after 3 years, and one at 7 years. But I find that they’re slightly delayed if you’re online most of the time, and not together in real life all the time, as the ‘excitement/mystery/new-ness’ wears off a little slower.

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