I am lost... not any more



Hi … i happened to watch the ted talk by Jessica and was in tears… as i could relate to most of what she was talking about.

All my childhood my parents were fully supportive and ive been so blessed to have them as my parents. Being teachers they never judged me they gave me techniques and support to make myself better at what i enjoyed.
But still. I often got a sense of feel that i do not fit in to this society and their norms. I cant follow their rules. I dont have friends. And i get rediculed for that sometimes.

I am now 33, I am a wife and mother of 2 lovely very intelligent daughters. I gave up my career for my kids as I believed they need me more than I needed the feel of satisfaction and accomplishment in my IT job. My husband too helped me in making me believe in this…
For seven years my life has been a crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions and strange situations for which i simply dunno how to react or handle. I was insulted, humiliated ridiculed for not being like others in the family. I felt lonely in my home with my own family. There was a constant struggle in my mind in trying to do thing simple or to keep calm or to socialise.

Now, my elder daughter goes to school . She has an astounding memory and she is hyper too. She often gets scolded by her father and elders at home for not being able to focus on a thing and for being impulsive… I see myself in her.
I started to blame myself for my daughter’s not so acceptable behaviours… coz im being told so all the time. I tried many ways to change my behaviour in order to see the change in my daughter… but nothing worked…

I feel so much of a relief after watching the ted talk. I can now relate to ppl and they are just like me. I feel normal. Its ok if u r impulsive, its ok if u cant listen to a song completely n keep jumping to other ones, its ok if u feel strong emotions towards someone and totally forget the world around u…its ok if u forget the keys… its ok if u r funny… its ok to be me.
I am now starting a new journey in knowing myself… yes im overwhelmed :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: