I can't see through the negative space.

So, I’ve been back and forth in my head on whether or not to put this on here but decided to get it out. Today started off in a good place until my boss’s boss contacts me about the promotional video we are shooting tomorrow. She was looking for confirmation that the family we had chosen to be in the video was still on board(she’s been on me all week) the family we had talked to had stopped communicating with me earlier in the week so I had been instructed to stop by and check in with them but I jet forgetting. I had multiple opportunities each day but I would always remember when it was too late to turn around. So all week I’ve had this neon sign flashing in my face reminding me how often I forget to do tasks. Now we have everything worked out and the shoot is first thing in the morning and I’m doubting myself and my ability to be successful at this shoot. So add that on too of the constant reminder of my lack of follow through and my anxiety is on the edge of being out of control( where I can’t pull myself out of it). I drove to my parents house to feel at home and on the way here I just cried and cried but felt I had to " get it together " because nobody wants to hear about my problems or deal with an over sensitive person at 9:00 at night. I don’t really know what I’m expecting out of this but it feels better just getting it out.

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Hope you’re still keeping it together. Look, I’ve done the same many times, and it sucks. But doing it repeatedly with ONE thing doesn’t mean we suck at everything! You’ve got this! You’ll do GREAT tomorrow at the shoot!:blush::+1: And it’ll be an awesome job, hehe!:blush: Trust me, you’ll be fine.

And reaching out when you’re not OK and need help, even if it’s just a place to vent and feel, that’s good too. You’re recognizing your own gaps, and asking for help with them. That’s good, that’s progress!:blush: And yeah, if you need to rant, you just feel bad, or want to share a success story, it’s all here on the forum. We have space for (almost) everything.:blush:

Good luck, and happy shooting tomorrow! Hope everything goes well, amd the family is cooperative, so you’ll get a great promotional video out of it! And maybe you can show us, if it’s made publicly available.:wink:

Well from my experience using breathing techniques and if needed grounding techniques to help yourself calm down. Vagal breathing is a reccomend breathing technique and I like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique and https://drsarahallen.com/7-ways-to-calm/ Is a link to a list of grounding techniques and a definition of it and breathing techniques are basically just breathing slowly and different places to breathe into affect different things but vagal breathing has been recommended by my therapist

It can be really hard when we see our behaviours that aren’t serving us. The “why couldn’t/didn’t I” is difficult.

Maybe you didn’t get out there because you are under a lot of stress and there’s just too much going on? At this point you can’t do much about the past, what’s done done. Instead of living there in your head (like I probably would), you could try thinking about what to change in the future. Improve your reminder system?

Either way there isn’t much you can do now except maybe start the day early and check in on them before the shoot. In the end positive vibes, and I hope everything goes well today.

So sorry, and, I know EXACTLY what that whoops-I-forgot-again experience is. It’s like a looming deadline and like not having any deadlines at all, all at the same time. I hope you can pull it together, hope it goes well, hope you can find hope, all that stuff! Here’s a quarter. :sunny: best wishes …

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Hey Kasie, if it wasn’t too bad (or way better than that!), let us know how it went. And if you don’t feel like talking about it, well, this would be typing, sooo…:wink: Might help you feel better anyway.

Hello everyone, I just got back home. Everything went well today. The film crew was incredible, they allowed me to take my time and keep my mind in a safe place. The family had a great time and the kiddos were all in a great mood. Once we got going and got a rhythm things started to get easier and easier, all the doubt and fear fell away. I can’t wait to see the final product and I’ll be sure to share with you guys when its released. I did read all of the responses (multiple times) and all of the encouragement from you guys was extremely helpful in getting me there and getting started. There was a moment when I first got in my car where I almost called my boss but going back through them all cleared my head and I was able to remember why I agreed to do this in the first place. Thank you guys for every comment.

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Glad to hear you got into a better headspace and had a great day!:blush: And the odds were always on everything going pretty well, just happy you got to experience that! Next time you doubt yourself, think back to this time, so much worry for nothing, and remember that this new time is probably the same as this past one.:wink: You’ve got this, and you’re gonna be fine.:blush: And look forward to seeing the end result!:grin::+1:

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