I DO NOT have ADHD. Why am I here?

#1

Hello brains, since I joined the forums and a lot of what is discussed is sensitive and personal I thought it only fair to share my story since I have replied to some posts and created a whole other conversation. I jump ahead a lot.

So, to begin I am 30 years old work full time live with my soon to be wife (we are getting married this October). I graduated from Behavioural Sciences and learned a lot about well behaviour and how even the most seemingly insignificant act or environmental stimuli can really change someones day.

As to why I joined the forums? Well I have to admit I DO NOT have ADHD. I know shame on me. My future wife however does and a little while ago she discovered the Youtube channel and has watched nearly every episode. So, with her in mind I sought out the forums to seek help I suppose. I feel she would benefit from having peer to peer support as much of you seem to wish to provide. I however don’t think I could convince her to join the forums and be an active participant. She definitely has taken some of the advice shared through the Youtube channel to heart.

Few years back I joined a board game group (yes I am that kind of nerd) and encouraged her to tag along as she seemed to like the social aspect of it at least. Some of the games however took a toll and safe to say her attention drifted and she doesn’t have a huge desire to play them in first place. So I encouraged her to find a hobby of her own she has always had a thing for art. So it was no surprise when she chose that to be her outlet. So she now creates things for a small art show and sells them. One of her friends joined her and she mingles with the other artisans. Just feel when she saw the community How to ADHD had built couldn’t help but feel as she would benefit from being a part of it.

So, in short any tips on how to encourage someone to sit in front of a computer who actively detests doing so would be appreciated.

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#2

HI! From a Brain, we thank you for being a Heart (people who love brains)! You have NO idea how amazing Hearts are in the life of a Brain. :smiley: So, thank you for caring enough to try.

I’d say, if she’s not into sitting still on a forum, then thats cool. I think you can’t force anyone to get this type help, but I think you being the connector for her is huge. You being willing to ask her questions for her is a major thing, and makes it even better cause now you know how to help her. The videos are still an amazing assistance, and maybe she might respond better to an in-person meet-up in your local area. But if not, then thats cool too.

As far as sitting still, its not about sitting STILL, its about sitting-ish while being able to focus. I got a yoga ball chair at work that helps me bounce as needed, as well as fidget toys I use that help me have a movement outlet while my other hand and brain work on a task. (Often helps when using a mouse over a keyboard, lol). Also, taking breaks, and whatnot. Also, walking while working, etc helps. There is a good video on How to ADHD on “10 homework study tips”, that apply to any sort of work-space.

Hope that helps with either side of the question (cause I was tryna make sure I knew if the question related to the not-going-on-the-forum thing or not, lol :sweat_smile:)

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#3

Thank you for your response and yes we have talked about local support groups and such hoping that it is successful. She has gotten a few fidgets that she uses and it is so much the sitting still part that is the issue as much as her detest and distrust of all things related to computers. I definitely would never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. I am definitely comfortable being a surrogate for her and seeking what assistance I can and feel that perhaps if she sees that I am actively on it. She just might join in.

Otherwise, seeking out support groups is high on my list to do she may have to travel further than she would like as of now so I aim to create a more local one.

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#4

Wait, you all use a computer to write and read posts on here? :sweat_smile:

I use my generally not very good smartphone. There’s an app.

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#5

No worries, we have no policy here that you MUST have ADHD to be on here, and some members are ‘hearts’ too.:wink: So feel free to talk in the forums.

As for your wife, I doubt there’s much you can do to convince her, but if you know she struggles with something in particular, and found some forum threads on here that might help her, or give her some perspective, that might pique her interest and get her going on her own on here.:sweat_smile:

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#6

App? Oops sorry south african always late hearing about things like that. :slight_smile:

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#7

Your future wife has an awesome future husband. :slight_smile:

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#8

No shame at all, it’s good that you want to help. If more people wanted to help, instead of reacting negatively to things they don’t understand, the world would be a far better place.

Welcome to the tribe!

Your soon-to-be-wife is soon-to-be-lucky to have you.

If she starts reading some of the stories, some of the experiences that people write about, she could very well get sucked into it. Who cares if she posts or not?

Personally, I found it a great relief to know that there were others who shared so much of my life, and I hyperfocussed on this forum for a while. I was constantly surprised by some of the things I read, that I always thought were particular to me, but became evidently shared amongst many others.

Maybe find a few posts that you think might surprise her, things that she might relate to. Then leave her alone to investigate the rabbit hole.

As you probably know, pushing her to do something may have entirely the opposite effect. But if she gets invested in a post or two, her light bulb will likely go off, and you’ll have trouble keeping her away for a while.

Best of luck!

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#9

Gotcha. That’s a tough one.

Maybe wrap an iPad up in goat skin, and throw it into the corner of the room when she’s not looking, she might take to it a little more easily. :smile:

Alternatively, hand write out the content of several posts on vellum, using a quill. :+1:

I’ve had friends who absolutely detested computers. My brother is one. But he does enjoy computer games…

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#10

That is good that you care because we need a lot of support along the way and can be sensitive sometimes and it is SO SO SO SO GOOD TO BE A HEART!!! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::grin::grin::grin::grin:

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