I don't know if I belong here

Hello there!
My name is Soph and I am undiagnosed but highly suspected to have ADHD. I struggle with anxiety and depression, I’m also pretty dyslexic. I am an adult but I feel like a failure. I cry many times a week because I can’t function like everyone else I see. It feels like everything is a fight. I have to fight myself to do my work. Fight myself to do something I think is fun but has many steps to it. I have to fight myself to meet my basic needs and usually fall short.

Finding Jess’ channel has made me feel empowered. Like I’m not crazy, or stupid, or lazy. I feel validated. I feel understood. I’m scared to share this with the people in my life though because I’m not actually diagnosed. I don’t want to tell them “those things you say about me, they have a cause. I have a ADHD and here’s how it shows up” when that could be a lie. Maybe I just suck at being a person. Maybe I can’t focus because I don’t have enough will power. Maybe my emotions are all over the place because I’m a girl who has “that time of the month” attitude everyday for no reason. Maybe I’m just the normal amount of interest and not hyperfocused. Maybe I have sensory issues because I’m overly particular and they aren’t really sensory issues. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe there’s an answer. Maybe I’m not crazy. Maybe I’m not making this up and it’s all in my head. I have no support around me. Not that would understand. I am hoping to schedule an appointment soon to be tested for ADHD. Until then, I will continue to doubt myself like I’ve been taught to do. I hope that at the very least I can be part of a community of creative, funny, and interesting people whether I belong or not.

The name is Soph, I’m an adult woman with problems. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. I hope we can be friends :slight_smile: :grin:

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hey you will fit in just fine here😁 nobody here will think you don’t belong because you havn’t been diagnosed yet, we have all been in the place you are right now, those feelings you have described are exactky how i and many others felt before our diagnosis, you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about, your problems are real, are difficult to navigate through and most importantly not your fault.

welcome to the tribe :crazy_face::grin:

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Welcome to the community! Were really happy to have you! :blush: :heart:

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Welcome to the forums! The tricky part about an ADHD diagnosis is that generally the answer is yes or no, but that’s not reality of the condition. It presents itself differently in each person, has so many variables, and each variable is a spectrum of severity. Your story sounds like so man others here.

While a diagnosis may provide additional treatment options for you, you can still work on the things that you would like to improve on.

What do you have doubts on? It’s probably not productive and it might be time to start questing and doubting your doubts. :wink:

I don’t know what things people are say about you, but with or without an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t change who you are. While having an explanation like ADHD is nice, perhaps its true power is recognizing that you have the ability to improve, if you want.

Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand with ADHD as well because of our difficulties in fitting into a world that isn’t always friendly for ADHD brains.

That said, I hope you make that appointment and continue on your journey of self discovery, acceptance and improvement if.you feel that is necessary.

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Welcome to the HowToADHD forums @ChronicSoph ! We’re happy to have you join us here!

Recognizing your struggles and choosing to do something about it (like getting assessed for ADHD) is a big deal. Many people go through life just struggling and not doing anything about it.

I’ve always had difficulty with procrastination, time management, organization, maintaining attention, working memory, etc. I learned multiple systems and many strategies for time management, organization, memory skills, and more…but continued to have the same struggles. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD (at 45 years old), and suddenly my whole life made sense!

Before my diagnosis, I found Jessica’s TEDx Talk, which led me to the HowToADHD YouTube channel, which led me to this forum and this community. Diagnosed or not, from what you describe about yourself, it looks like you’ll fit in nicely here.

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Sorry it took me so long to respond, I forgot! Yes I just found her Tedx Talk around a month ago (I think) and it was crazy how much I related to it, so I watched a lot of her videos and no longer feel so alone!

The more I learn the more sure I am. I’m so happy to be a part of such a welcoming and kind community! Thank you for reaching out :smiley:

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Thank you for your welcoming message!

I have been able to find a location that will test me but I can’t make an appointment until January and won’t actually get in until March or later. I would appreciate a concrete answer so I have proof against these doubts.

I am excited to learn about my brain and work with it instead of against it! This is a long road ahead of me and I get easily distracted haha! Thank you for your encouragement :slight_smile: :grin:

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