Hey! My name is Sam. I am 21 years old and I don’t know if i have ADHD. This idea has been floating around in my head for quite some time now. Along with the idea that i might be autistic. However, it’s hard to tell if you are different when you don’t know what typical is. I was homeschooled up until college. Most of my interactions have been with people who are pretty quirky. Which i love. But it makes it hard to see if I’m also just quirky or if there is something more.
I’ve been taking online tests and watching videos on both and even went to my doctor. I keep getting the same results. I have a moderate chance of have ADHD or autism. I haven’t tried going to a specialist or anything to get a diagnosis. My therapist says that i seem normal. I even got a brain scan (for anxiety) and he said that there didn’t seem to be any other factors to my anxiety other than internalized anger. I’m worried that I’m being dramatic or looking for the easy way out of my problems. I feel like being told no would crush me. I don’t want my parents to spend an obscene amount of money to get a diagnosis only to find that it was for nothing.
Another challenge is I already know I have anxiety and am dealing with depression. A lot of my problems could be associated with those.
Some of my potential symptoms are:
Low self esteem. This was before i developed depression.
Difficulty paying attention.
Hard time expressing myself.
My emotions are intense.
I have difficulty writing.
I am sensitive to light and touch.
When excited I like flapping my arms or jumping.
When stressed I tap my ears or compleatly shut down.
I have a hard time with dates and time. I forget to check things. Because of this I haven’t turned in most of the homework of a class that i adore.
Hard time starting anything. I am putting off eating while writing this.
I am forgetful
I am angry all the time. I’m really good about forgetting about it.
I don’t hyper fixate on things or go into depth on one topic. I learn a little of a LOT of random things. The closes thing to hyper fixation might be with reading for fun where i can spend 3-5 hours reading easy.
I mask. All the time. I don’t know what is me and what is a front. I am very conscious of how people view me. I think about how my face is resting when talking to someone. I try to be careful of what i say because i tend to blurt things out. I am very cautious about being inappropriate.
Things make me laugh are often not funny to others.
When comfortable i do not shut up. I talk so much i get annoyed with myself. And i talk fast.
I am sorry this is very long. But i thought i might ask people who actually have ADHD if any of this sounds close and if you have suggestions. Thanks!
