I feel paralyzed, tired, stressed and frustrated most of the time


#1

I am still trying to get stable on meds. Straterra was working well for me other than the constant need to pee especially after going to bed. I hate getting up 6 or more times for potty before I can fall asleep. I tried Provigil, it took care of my constipation with flying colors, had more insomnia and my neck and shoulders were so tight that after a few days I couldn’t turn my head. Doing some Ritalin now, my emotional dysregulation is now set to 11 so anything that’s frustrating turns to anger and I have issues coming down, i blame Ritalin for this. I am open to others experiences with meds if you found a better solution.

I work in a fairly busy open office, work in helpdesk/sysadmin role. coworker has his phone set to vibrate and beep on texts and he spend way too much time texting and the vibrations against the wooden desk is super distracting. 2 doors down a director often times has speakerphone calls with door wide open. I cant go to HR or do anything about these things nor can I talk to these people as I will likely be dismissed. I also have people calling, messaging, etc that are overly dramatic and/or completely disregard any semblance of understanding of anything including our hours of support

So I get work is my is my biggest issue and somehow I make it through each workday, its outside of work my emotional dysregulation can kick in, sometimes I just feel drained. I really want to experience life, but after work I don’t feel like doing anything. I want to learn software development, how to play keyboard, draw or even take some time and play video games, I just have no desire, disinterested, etc

I have nobody in my life, so this is clearly not good and no other support.

Looking for strategies, suggestions or anything you can offer


#2

It sounds like you are sensitive to noise, as I am as well. Have you tried noise reduction headphones? I am also very isolated (I am in a caregiver situation, which is part of why I am isolated) and that makes things difficult. That’s partly why I joined this board. So now we both have someone to talk to :grin:

Seriously though, noise reduction headphones are amazing. And you shouldn’t need to disclose ADHD to be able to wear those at work (during times when you are not on the phone, of course) given the type of environment you are in.


#3

The meds thing is a big hassle, and it sounds like you are having a worse time than me. I really feel for you :slightly_frowning_face:

Keep trying to find the right dose of the right medication, in consultation with your doctor, is my advice. Is he/she giving you good guidance on how long to try a particular dose and what to do if the side effects are unacceptable?

My doctor tells me how long side effects should last, etc. And my appointments are closer together if we are making a big change, which I find very comforting as a couple of times I had quite scary episodes (which were not, in retrospect, serious, but at the time they were scary).

Hope the situation improves soon, and I like the idea of the noise cancelling headphones!


#4

don’t give up on treatment even when it seems like its pointless or more of a pain then its worth, i have learned after many years of avoiding and procrastination that you only hurt yourself by not being treated.


#5

So what I’m reading is that work is miserable, but you survive, but when you get home you struggle. It is very likely it is work that is making you feel down. I used to do a job with people experiencing Domestic Violence and I would be fine at work, but my brain would turn off once work was out, I sometimes didn’t know how i got home!! I was a zombie.

I have two suggestions just based on my experience in a slump at my old job, YMMV.

  1. Do what you can to improve your work time. Headphones, making your desk comfy, nesting in it a little, bringing some special treats on Wednesday, etc. I find when I am more comfortable, other things don’t bother me as much. Could also try to log the nicer customers that call, cause our brains tend to remember the unpleasantness.

  2. Pick a specific hobby to do. HOW TO ADHD YOUTUBE has a great resource on building a habit with a new hobby. Engaging on something different and new could help break the pattern.

I hope you feel better. I hate being stressed (she writes while procrastinating).

ETA: just reread, and getting the right meds and dosage is a serious thing that is probably a big impact on all of this. I hope you are able to get through that. I have been doing adderall 20mg, once at 7am and once at 2pm. I mostly love it, but have a bit of a crash sometimes I would like to avoid. My boyfriend noticed a difference right away, he was freaked out by all my eye contact. I’m also on SSRIs for depression and anxiety. I have not tried any other meds, since they seem to work for me for now.