I’m kinda getting bored in my relationship...

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months and i’m Slightly worried because I really really like her and I don’t want to disappoint her or drive her away but i’m Getting almost restless in our relationship because nothing has really changed between us in quite a while.

On the one hand, its awesome coz it feels very stable and secure, But on the other, it still feels like saying or doing the wrong thing could end it all.

How can I make my relationship more interesting so i can stay with my current girlfriend and enjoy it to the full rather than feeling like i’m Waiting for one of us to slip up so we break up and i can find a different relationship.

SIDE NOTE: I want to clarify that i’m Happy in my relationship and love my girlfriend (wouldn’t mind possibly getting married one day)… when i’m Talking to or about her. If I’m on my own for multiple days, I start to almost forget that I’m in a relationship and come up with ways to go and meet people so maybe i could date one of them. I always catch myself and tell myself off tho but tbh i’ve been in the same relationship for ages and its great but also it’s so predictable now and it’s kinda boring y’know?

(There’s no way i can make this sound nice i’m Sorry. She’s a lovely person and I adore her so I really wanna make this work but I’m scared i’ll Mess up and ruin it coz that’s kinda what happened last time)

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I’ve got a couple suggestions for you, if you’d like. I just read a great article on Additude Magazine website on keeping your marriage strong. They had some great pointers and explanations why we start to do this in relationships.

Also, if you dont live together it’s harder to keep them in your mind. Maybe set little reminders on your phone to just text her and tell her you miss her or want to go for coffee or something. Just like everything else in life, I find leaving reminders for melyself always helps.

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I can completely relate - over 2 years with a wonderful person who perfectly balances my ADHD with their calmness and patience. But now and then I get what I call ‘ADHD bored’.
These are things that help me when this happens:

  1. remind myself that this feeling will pass, and check in to see if there is something else going on in my life (e.g am I am self-destruct mode for some reason)
  2. spend at least a bit less time with them for a week, and the following week have a proper ‘date night’ to break the ‘chilling at home’ boredom
  3. go out with my friends and do something fun, my SO is not as social as me so this is not unusual, but because of that I often don’t see my friends as often as I should. It reminds me that life is still fun without them, but better over all because of what we do together

I do the same thing in terms of ‘forgetting’ when my SO travels, but make sure to spend time with good friends so I still have enough company, and we try to check in every few days if possible (usually in different time zones so not always easy). But honestly I’ve got to the point where I just do not want to be with anyone else.

Sadly I can’t help with the ‘saying or doing wrong thing could end it’ because I still often feel like that. I probably always will. But that is because that is my lived experience of every other relationship. But my SO knows I can get a bit insecure at times and is really good at letting me express it and reminding me that they are not going anywhere.

Sorry long - but hope it helps :slight_smile:

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